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Citrus

The tart lemon taste

of a new love,

insistent and fragrant,

slips into the waiting grasp

of an unknowing,

unsuspecting recipient.

A bright tangibility

that exists only because

it simply does,

random beauty

in a quiet miracle of brilliance.

Acid made acceptable

by the addition of innocent sugar

and it dances,

alive,

on my tongue.

All the golden gifts

of this treasure trove sparkle,

like a star made diminutive

by the night sky blanket,

only glanced upon

by most,

but idealized by a certain few.

 

Those solitary beings

that venerate a bitter beginning

followed by a sweet ending.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Loki silver member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    One of your 09 trophies! Congratulations angel. This poem has many good descriptions in it. Instead of trying to pick a line, I'm merely going to list my favorite word pairings

    "bright tangibility" - Never heard that before, but I've thought of it often since.

    "quiet miracle" - Something so unnoticed about this. The miracles that happen when your back is turned, that make life worth living. It's much like those who do kind things without wanting anything in return.

    OK so I lied,
    "All the golden gifts
    of this treasure trove sparkle,
    like a star made diminutive
    by the night sky blanket,
    only glanced upon
    by most,
    but idealized by a certain few."

    I wonder if those certain few are you and I, and if the golden gifts are celestial bodies.

    And of course, your ending was the stuff of masterpieces. I could see someone quoting that 100 years into the future.

    X.X.X.


  • I-Am-Custard
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    You have a lovely sense of rhythm here. The sort I use actually. You do it well.
    I love the ending here. It's final, but comforting, and sums up the poem and it's metaphor very nicely.
    I wasn't keep on the work 'recipient'. It's reminiscent of a bank statement or a contract, too formal for a pome about love. Other than that, very nice
    Very deserving of it's trophy.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    Hi, Fairy Lady!

    Was the use of "tangibility" deliberate? Never mind either way, it is just the right word, with its first four letters spelling "tang". I greatly appreciate the metaphor running throughout this poem - I had a similar idea in mind when writing mine. Great minds think alike,

  • Vera Rich
    January 26
    Edit | Reply
    An interesting approach to using lemon as a metaphor.
    Thank you for entering.