she was the mockingbird
the singer, life-bringer
defending innocence.
[until you broke her, huh?]
nobody heard when you did it.
nobody saw when you did it. [then again, wasn't that the point?]
what did she do? [was it the fact that
she was even born that
ticked you off so badly?]
maybe you'll have time to regret it
in your later life. [there's quite a bit left. i think
you regret it already, though maybe
it's not the deed, but the result...]
maybe you'll learn.
[then again, maybe
you'll keep on going...]
do you ever wonder
how things would've turned out?
[how things would've been
if you'd just
let live...]
A contest entry
- "To Kill A Mockingbird" (more points, and allowing PW) by jinsays.
4000 points, ended January 23, 2009, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Okay, I like the idea here. I do not care for the layout. It made the poem hard to follow for the reader. Perhaps you can just list the words/second narrative under the original words? You dont have to, just giving you my opinion, for what it's worth.
Thank you very much for entering, and I wish you the best.
Love,
jin

