Venom-filled, my flaws bleed out
Like dreams burnt out and dead
Read like Bible pages, old
The verses built in dread
Every thought nightmare-taught
My innocence, the thing I killed
Winds now lost, uncertain costs
The coldest shadows spilled
The dark mocks the light
As screams echo through the air
But for some reasons unknown
Those held responsible don’t care
Every step leaves and imprint
The ground moans from swallowed tears
And every movement a weary one
Because of the shroud of fears
What wonders at the stars above
Helpless breaths at blackened skies
How many times will the hour glass turn
Before I can see the truth, and lies?
Edited Version - Courtesy of Andy Stephenson:
Venom-filled, my flaws bleed out
Like dreams burnt out and dead
Read like Bible pages, old
The verses built in dread
Ev'ry thought a nightmare taught
My innocence I killed
Winds now lost, uncertain costs
The coldest shadows spilled
Darkness comes to mock the light
As screams rip through the air
But for some their ways unknown
Know no concern or care
Ev'ry step does leave it's print
Dirt moans from swallowed tears
Weary movements each become
Beneath a shroud of fears
Wonders at the stars above
Weak breaths at blackened skies
Many times the hour glass turns
Till I know truth, the lies?
Author notes
Kinda represents alot of the confusion in my mind recently. I really haven't felt myself lately.
A contest entry
- Poetry! by luna-midnight.
1800 points, ended January 24, 22 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Hi Cody!
I like this poem a lot, but the flow and rhythm need improving. I gave a shot at re-writing it, but you may not like the result
. I IMed it to you.
This poem seems to me to be a sort of overview of life, perhaps your own. Like an examination of what has occurred and your determination to see it through.
That's how I interpret it.
Thanks for you interest in my play. Send me the link to yours when you post it.
Andy
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Your interpretation is close.
Actually, I had a sort of spiritual crisis going on in my life when I wrote this, it was a reflection of life so far, and the confusion in my mind at the time of writing it.
Also, I like your re-written version, I edited the whole thing so that your version is beneath the original. -
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Hi Cody!
I'm very pleased you like the edited version. Thanks for adding it to your post.
Andy
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this flows so well, wonderful job, and i do hope you feel better. this is a great poem, thanks for entering and good luck
Stephanie ♥ -
very deep
really gives an insight in to what your going through, i hope that getting this on to paper helped ease your mind x
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