Lord Help Me

Lord help me...
I'm blind and I'm falling, Lord.
I don't know where else to turn.
I've tried so hard to make do on my own.

I can't seem to get off the ground, Father.
There's so much baggage left on my shoulders.
So much so that I can't move, Father.
I'm trapped beneath my guilt, Lord.
I'm buried beneath my sin.
Mired in self-doubt.
Swallowed by iniquity.....

THE LIST GOES ON, FATHER GOD!!!

What do I do?
Where I turn to?
The answer is you, Lord; it has to be!
So many things trip me up.
So many things hurt me...
People out to get me, bring me low to the earth.
I only go lower when I wreak vengeance.
Eye for an eye!...
or at least, i try to.
You don't approve, and so I suffer even more.
I keep thinkin to hide my crap behind
the sins of others.
I always feel in the right even when i'm doin wrong.
I justify my lust, and explain away my malice.

Tis not my place to judge, o Lord.
That's all I seem to do.
That's all I see everyone do.
They get offended, sometimes outraged.
"i ain't judgin you!"
and yet our opinions seem so...
judgemental.
When your judgement falls, who will help us?
Nooooooobody, that's who.
Your word is final...
my words are failure.

I meant so much good,
and sowed so much evil.
I hoped for the best,
and accepted the worst.
You gave me all I needed,
and I blew it in one go.
Now, even as I turn to you, how oh how
can i expect help from you?
How can I expect you to listen to me, much less
THINK
of you being able to look at me or have me in your presence?
Why do I think that you will save me, Father?
Why do I pray and hope time and time again
taht somehow, You'll answer me?
How do I keep making it through all this retarded bullshit
I put myself an others through?
How do you manage to keep from wiping us all, imperfect and fragile as we are, from existence and starting fresh with creations
MUCH more obeisiant and loving than we?!
WHO KNOWS why you care so much for us even though we virtually (and at times, literally) spit in your face?
WHY do you insist on baling me out time and time again when i cry your name?
WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME WHEN I HURT YOU SO DAMN BAD ALL THE TIME?!?!?!?!

Jon....it's because I AM THAT I AM, and I love you. Leave it at that, g...
Leave it at that.