Desolated muse sung the sorrows
sweetly serenading storms of loneliness.
In an hour's compassion
she leaves me breathless.
Sinking,
I drown in the chorus of emptiness
salting the deep abyss.
Author notes
http://freakybabe.deviantart.com/art/Nerdesin-71723741
30 words worse sort of lol
A contest entry
- 12/30/30 Quickie by Sweet Impatience.
1200 points, ended January 14, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Two entries. All prewrite. by morgana raven.
400 points, ended February 23, 123 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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I quite like this one, and I see how it landed you some gold!
Great format and wording here. I wish you all the best. Good luck and thanks for sharing this one with me.
♠ Heroesrox ♠ -
keep it coming i like it alot
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Like FulaBeans. Sugarblade sent me to this one....and I'm in shock and awe. This was completely the reason that poetry is written, to express such deep and adoring emotions. This by far, speaks louder than most I have read.
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How do you do that?
Take my breath away with
your words, and leave me
panting for more!!
The ending was faultless
and visuals-- gorgeous.
The concept of sinking
into silence is frightening,
but the way you expressed
it in terms of love yet
loneliness..
still makes it more beautiful than ever!
Congrats again on the gold,
you're always on a roll
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Holy Hell!
so, Sugarblade said I needed to read this and...well I'm left in awe.
You are quite the poet. The imagery is like unreal.
I really don't know what to say...except..expect more comments from me soon.
Well done,
-Dusty-
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breathtaking
a beautiful image sort of painting itself in my mind as i read each line, stunning piece of work, truly
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love the last 2 lines..emotions well portrayed here..
congrats on well deserved gold!!!
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I looked at the picture first and then read this, with 30 words you really have done something amazing. Your word choice was brilliant, the alliteration penned well. Deserving of gold in any means.
Great write.
Laura.
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wowzer!
i love this poem. it was short but very meaningful and pretty impactful. it was beautiful. congratz on the gold, well deserved keep penning
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Well done!
Congratulations on the gold! This verse is so far from what I usually read from you. Your alliteration is to die for. It is as wonderful poem describing my journey into darkness. Though it is so hard to read works describing your worst nightmare, it is also a joy to finally see the light.
Love you,my sister
Linda *rose
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this is an incredible poem that you've written. its filled with brilliant imagery, with lots of sad intense emotions throughout it. the alliteration is amazing.
good luck
kat
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thank you
I loved writing that one xx
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wow, what else is there to say, this is amazing,s
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Wow, love the alliteration here, reads so smoothly. Wonderful imagery and emotions sis. Beautifully done, good luck in your contest
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Beautiful in its sadness, wonderfully worded.
Best wishes in the contest
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Once again, you are letting your talent shine bright sissy. A wonderful use of so few words. The last line is my favorite.
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Wonderful use of alliteration!
I really love the vibrant words you chose and the construction as well.
Great write, and best of luck to you! -
Love the alliteration in here! A sorrowful piece that fits perfectly with the picture!
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you did a great job on this prompt. i enjoyed reading this beautiful poem. well done. good luck in this contest. =)
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Very deep and beautiful words my friend.
Good luck to you and keep up the wonderful
work here. Always a pleasure to read you!
Jeremy0826 -
wow julie this a brilliant take onthe promt good luck inthe contestmaralisa
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This is wonderfully worded -
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Beautifully wrought... I love the alliteration you've working into this... it flows from the tongue (not like that
) I really like the imagery of the chorus salting the deep abyss... it reverberates!
Ken
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So deep and beautifully penned my friend. I loved the imagery and flow. A most enjoyable read, and best wishes in the comp
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