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[The day you burned the egg]

The black clouded sky hangs over my head and isn't easily lifted
It's been too long since I've seen that sun
Too long since I even had the strength to look up towards the great fireball of energy

Memories of my past come flooding back, filling my head with the disgusting
and nauseating memory of you
Your cold, controlling hands around my waist and somehow they just keep going
Lower, lower
While I lay there in utter confusion, with my 5 year old innocence being taken from me
Slowly, slowly
And you don't stop when she comes home, and notices what you are doing
No one stops you
So you just kept moving me closer to you
Closer and closer
Until the only barrier I have to myself, is broken through and used

Now that I'm old enough to realize what you did to me, I feel I am suffocating even more
Head spinning, palms sweating
The visions of you and everything, come back for the moment
And once again, I am no longer living in the present, but in the darkest part of my past
Someday I hope for the strength to let go of your burden of being
Battered and brusied
Someday i hope for the courage to tell someone about you and
The day you burned the egg
And everything that really happened
But for now I'm stuck in this web of lies and denial
With a head filled with shame and remorse

It seems, it can't get any worse

A contest entry

A m e t h y s t E y e s This was really hard for me because Ive never let myself talk or write about the whole thing, and it made me sick to my stomach when I started, but now I feel much better.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • depressedangelchick
    April 9, 2009

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    im so sorry that happened to you, and im glad that you are trying to work through that. its not right that he did that and i think that someone should have stopped him from hurting you, but there is something seriously wrong with people who do that to others for their own personal pleasure. it is a disease and it can be cured only if they try to find it. as long as you learn that you have to forgive the people that hurt you, you will eventually be able to move on and the memory might not hurt as much.


  • WednesdayJade
    April 5, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... this is a very painful write, I can feel that just from reading so I can't imagine the pain you felt in writing it.
    Memories are horrible, I think they make the pain of what happened even worse, we wouldn't have so much hurt if we weren't plagued by the flashbacks and memories and... eurgh.
    I'm sorry this happened to you... and to everyone this happens to, especially so young.
    Thank you for entering. Could you please add your AP name to your author's notes and add s p a c e s between the letters so I can read it
    x x x


  • samantha jean
    January 8, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing because I know first hand how hard it is to write one of these poems. This was beautiful, and very well written. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me an honest, painful, and most of all beautiful piece.
    Wonderful, thank you very much, and good luck.


  • StarEyes
    January 7, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    This takes courage, and a lot of it, to write about that! I still haven't been able to write, and seldom can talk about it. You did a great job on this, and know that my heart is breaking for you!

    I hope you know, this was not your fault, and the ones that never stopped it, are as much to blame as the one that did it!

    Come find me if you want to talk honey. I will listen.


  • Kathrin
    January 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    brave brave girl

    I think you have done fantastic writing this I cant even begin to put myself in your position but I know that your life is too precious to let this grind it to a halt far too soon, your a very strong and brave girl, this is the hard part, let the flood gates open now chick and get your life bak,see all the beautiful things in the world, untainted by what happened cause you deserve it, your not dirty or disgusting your an important person who has something to fulfill so go do it and close the door to all that hurt you, all the best babe kathrin xxx

1 - 8 of 8