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Superiority

I'm better than you, it's plain to see
I'm handsom..smart..
everything you wish to be

I'm loved by girls and feard by men
you're worth no words
So I'll destroy you with my pen

I haven't the time to spend with you
you'll always be worthless..
so I'll take my leave, and bid you adue

It's obvious by now that I have won
who is so far below me...
to answer your question...

Everyone!

Author notes

Pride

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • oOHannahListerOo
    September 5

    Edit | Reply

    Whoaa..

    Daaamn your head just swelled like ... 5 times . We are not worthy, weee aree nooot worthyyyy!!!
    Love
    Hannah
    x x x


  • Andi.
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    another gruesome write.
    well done
    I love love love it

  • haha

    thats so not true
    im better than you!
    there i made a rhyme
    great poem


  • Crazychook
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    Here comes your ego Up in arms and kicking the nads of the opponents. I am so far below you


  • Dark Otter
    March 4

    Edit | Reply

    Natural rhythm!

    Its a standout for its beat and humor. Plus, its a creative take on the sin. One type, adieu needs to be changed. A good piece that deserves recognition.

  • Yes

    I agree with Keisha. Also, the rhyme in this is really good. The flow was okay, a bit of a throw off with the line "So I'll destroy with my pen". THe word choice is very well done as well. I do suggest a line break between the elipses and "everyone!" though. If you put the word by itself then, in my opinion, it would make it even more powerful. Thanks.

    Josh

  • I say yes to this only because not only does it have pride but at the same token it envokes envy.


  • Back to Sophie
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    ...Well then. Ego alert, ego alert.
    Even if I may be worthless, I could so kick your butt at hackysack. Wonderful write. ♥

  • Great take on the prompt! You sure have everyone thinking you are a cocky person!
    Love the line 'I'll destroy you with my pen'
    Best wishes in the contest.
    Gaylene


  • TacoSexyFail
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    HAHAHAHAHA!
    Thats mah brother!
    Know that you're a hellava lot better than anyone else.
    'Cause you are! Duh!!
    Oh I love this one, Dustee.
    Loved itttt.
    Rhyming was great along with perfect structure and all that poetry critiqing Jazz.
    ...I forgot what I was goin to say...OH! I 'member....


    Your background scared the living shit out of me. I clicked on it and I'm like "WHOA!!! AH!"
    Then Michael laughed at me. O.o
    Hmph. Anyway. :]


  • JesusFreak92
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    omg, god dustin. u know what's bad about this poem? i could actually hear you saying this one time! lol. it's still good. a lil short for my taste, but still good.


  • BaalHammon
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    bigheaded much??? lmao great read tho, really wanna kick the dude into the ground XD


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    Yeh, right, all this I believe for one minute. Huh..
    You do write a good poem tho, I'll give you that.
    Seriously, it did catch the prompt very well, and should do well, Best of luck.


  • blueyez
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    lol this is so not you! I like this cocky write but we all know you're a sweetheart dustin
    peace and love


  • NyteShade
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    wow conceited much here
    lol anyway great attempt on pride good luck
    Well done


  • Candyknife gold member
    January 7

    Edit | Reply

    ...

    yeah, so this is good and all, but, wow...
    lol i dont know what to say to such a narcissistic piece, and to someone with such an attitude lol
    but it wouldnt really matter anyways, and you think highly enough of yourself then to need me to feed your ego lol
    good luck and thanks for your entry

1 - 16 of 16