1.
glimmering
black lights
brighten –
but the batteries
run out
and darkness
takes over.
blemished faces
hidden;
in shadows forever
2.
- until anodes and cathodes
make their matches
and hope
will survive.
Author notes
prompt: glimpse.
In a list
A contest entry
- Best Prewrites From January 2009 by amaranthine lover.
1125 points, ended March 4, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I loved the depth you reached with this
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oooooo nice thanks for commenting on my poems,.im returning the favor!!!!
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I really like your descriptions. It paints a nice imagery. I wish you luck in the contest. Best of luck to you in your future writes. Thank you for sharing your poetry with me.
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i like it.
very much so.. :]
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I thought I commented on this!!!
"blemished faces
hidden;
in shadows forever"
Wow.
Sorry, I would have commented better but I'm not in a great frame of mind.
I do like those sentences though
Good luck in the contest
Love yhoo
Shelly
xxx
-
glimmering
black lights
brighten –
but the batteries
ran out
and darkness
took over.
weird tenses.
first stanza is present,
second is past.
and i'm confused
the rest of it is really pretty
I love the anodes and cathodes thing. -
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i tried fixing it..it's prolly wrong
but now it sounds weird to me :S
i have issues with tenses..
-
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*giggles* Anodes and cathodes - so science-y! I love it.
You are super good at writing, hun. ^^
-
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bahaha
im such a science nerd, not gonna lie
and thanks, you too
-
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