Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Everybody Leaves

Staring down at my poison of choice
once again lost in the amber comfort
Willing the fog it brings to take my pain
I don't wanna feel anymore
Hurt crawls through my body
like a slithering snake
My heart lays broken
some where across the seas
Reminding me that
Everybody leaves

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • LadyDementia gold member
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    Such a sadness you have penned here hunni. I love your imagery, the lines 'Hurt crawls through my body, like a slithering snake' especially hit hard when reading. Gripping from the first line hunni, excellent!


  • sgking123 gold member
    September 22

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    snake crawls through my body like aslithering snake...imagery so fine that let me....phhhhhheeeeewwwww....mmmmmmm...soft and sensitive portrayal......do you relate i to this in real.....or is it just apoetic hypothesis....i dont wanna feel any more......loved this...a complete poem..this one.....get up and let the talented quill move on dear


    • Firequeen
      September 22
      Edit | Reply
      I can relate to almost everything i write
      I pour all of my life and emotions into my work


  • Dearly Beloved...
    July 24

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely

    This is a bid different from your usual style, but I like it
    The ending , and the title are very truthful. it was short, but i liked it.
    Its sad, but true.... And great choice of words. As always, a nice one sis


    • Firequeen
      July 24
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you sis.
      everybody leaves is a saying i always say.
      so i seemed fitting to do a write about it


  • Jayde1
    July 14

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this is great firequeen

    Hurt crawls through my body
    like a slithering snake


    loved these lines


    well done to you

    you have penned a fantastic poem here


  • individuality gold member
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    i wouldn't mind some amber poison right now, but sadly only tea for today is gonna hit my brain. a good poem.


    • Firequeen
      June 24
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much.. well no amber poison will be with me today either if it makes you feel better.


  • Ademon
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad and beautiful...I love the imagery that you've expressed in this short piece...really good keep up the great work!


    • Firequeen
      January 12
      Edit | Reply
      wow thank you for the wonderful comment.
      I am very glad you enjoyed this.
      Fire


  • PastelMoons gold member
    January 7

    Edit | Reply

    "staring down at my poison of choice"
    I have never heard it put that way before
    but it couldn't have been said more
    effectively...
    This is heartbreaking
    an infinity of *hug*'sssssssssssssssss

    for you.

    Thank you for sharing
    ~Pastel
    *rose*

1 - 12 of 12