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Shower Power

While taking a shower
a kiss was shared
a promise to stop at that
when all of a sudden
nature took over
too late to stop the splat!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • The.poet.of.hearts
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    you are good at quickies, will you give me a hint then
    very well written.
    by
    the poet of hearts and beautiful words

  • Thor-201
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry.

  • Bruce silver member
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    YES!!! I like it! The rhythm carries through to the end!

  • Bruce silver member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    Very very cute! A lip, a dip, a slip, kerplop! My least favorite line was the next to last because I felt the rhythm was not as smooth. What about: when all of a sudden/nature took over and/ there . . . Leaves an and at the end of the line though. Oh well, it may be worth playing with.