The darkness has been within me
Ever since I came out
The womb
I have no room
Pain has left me without
So soon
It will consume
Me inside out
So until then
I will continue using this pen
Bleeding on this paper
That is my sin.
Author notes
"1. Write me a poem about emptiness. Make me feel it when I read your poem."
A contest entry
- Lots of Options. :) Come check it out! by FightOffYourDemons.
400 points, ended September 4, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
"1. Write me a poem about emptiness. Make me feel it when I read your poem."
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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ha ha lol
dude isnt this 1 of ur songs
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I like this one alot,
I loved the lines
'It will consume
Me inside out'
Great write
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wow this is an amazing write, props to you.
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lots of emotion but not a lot to the poem. It's kinda cliche and too simple.
It's just not very powerful. And the random rhyming does not help.
Thanks, Nikk -
So until then I will continue using this pen, bleeding on this paper that is my sin.
i love this line! its a great write. just check the 2nd line? absolutely brilliant -
GOOD JOB!
i really love the last two lines,
"Bleeding on this paper
That is my sin."
thumbs up bro.
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this is beautiful, every word was well written.
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I am beginning to think this is an ongoing theme in most people's life.
Good write
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amazing.
its simply amazing! But so sad. i feel the same way. Im sorry you have to face so much pain in life.
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I like it.. its short wit rhyme and yet it still has alot of deep meaning to it. u shoved a load of emotion in a small poem... that takes talent.. good job! keep it up
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wow
i loved this poem,its dark,just how i like poems and the poem is short and it works really well.
Keep Writing,your poems are awesome =]
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Thanks I appreciate it.
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Pain will consume you from within most definetly,now what kind of pain is it? Met a poet who said if you want to write all you have to do is slit your wrist and bleed on the paper,enjoyed
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Wow. Extremely powerful write and it was SO beautiful. There was one small error in line 3 'every' should be 'ever' but everyone makes small typos. Great write!
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In so short words this is great! You dont have to capitilize every line though. Sometimes it actually makes it look better. But its your choice. I love this!
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wow
your a great poet i relay like this its so outstanding deep and diffrent great work -
amazing
this was really good, your very talented
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outstanding
This is amazing, the emotion to this is outstanding. <3
-- Tor
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I like the ending, that is my sin lol
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I really like the metaphor here of putting words on paper being the bleeding out of your sins. This is a great piece of writing.
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a demonic pen...i like this.
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very sad my friend
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Hmmmm. This is quite something, Lawrence. Kind of dark but still the creativity of your soul. Thanks for sharing, my friend.
Brian
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