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past, up, over & away

she preferred her music in the dark
knees to chest, spine pressed to the beat,                 
the better to feel the temperature
& conjure his presence -
the one she could never
quite put a finger on

the dim made it easier
to imagine the impossible
& helped to hide alone

when that song would play
in light of day
she’d look at him
& wait for magic
or a look back,
anything



she felt transparent
& folded over
like ugly origami





over years she grew out of him -
past, up, over & away


now, when she hears that song
sometimes she thinks of him
& realizes
that her pleats & creases
had always been
gathered perfectly








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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • thepoetssoul
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is some beautiful poetry you have written.
    I love the warm and vivid imagery within.
    It's absolutely stunning
    Thank you for sharing your poetic heart.
    Be blessed in all you ever do.

    Tony

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    You take thoughts and kite fly, loved the way the pressing emotion at the beginning was compounded but then grounded for the free though flight at the end. A tad unsure of the dim made it easier, maybe dimness but am a rambling. Especially liked She felt transparent and folded over like ugly origami, oh my, superb at showing how one may be shaped the wrong way. Ahh, despite the wait/weight of needing the magic back and finding it beyond reach it is, at long last, located, recognized and prized within self acceptance. Well done.


  • donnz
    January 7

    Edit | Reply

    unchained

    It seems that women hold onto the futility longer than men.
    Perhaps its being rejected, rather than rejecting others first.
    Now you're free to try again.
    After a dozen / I quit. lol


  • styrofoam
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    she preferred her music in the dark
    knees to chest, spine pressed to the beat,
    the better to feel the temperature

    like tegan, i love these lines

    over years she grew out of him -
    past, up, over & away

    and these

    this is soft and wistful like the smokey background .

  • Bruce silver member
    January 6

    Edit | Reply
    Uh, not sure I understand everything but it's beautifully written. The pleats, creases, origami language is very nice. The ending is also strong.

    . Rewarded 3


  • acarsaid gold member
    January 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is brillaint.
    And again, I'm going to say "Yay! You're writing!!!!"

    "she preferred her music in the dark
    knees to chest, spine pressed to the beat,
    the better to feel the temperature"

    That part is absolutely beautiful. Boy, you've really come back with a bang, haven't you.

    ♣ Tegan

1 - 6 of 6