Here I am,
Where you were,
My memory is just a blur.
The clothes that you left on the floor,
Are left right in their place.
The bedsheets you'd last slept on,
Are left to their own grace.
Hope was here,
Now it's gone.
It left with you,
When you carried on.
Hope was here,
And I pray,
It will return to me someday.
Stars are falling,
From the sky,
But not for us,
So I lie,
To myself, and say they are.
My tears are falling for the stars.
And hope was here, yesterday,
Because I sensed it's presence,
At the break of dawn,
Hope was here,
And now it's gone.
Comments
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Thank you! Constructive critisisim is always welcome! And I'm changing that line now...
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I love it! This is an awesome write. It has so much meaning for its as if I wrote it. I can feel the pain just oozing from it. Once again great write. If you no mind I have a little advice, in your 12th line "it will return to me one day" I think it would sound and flow better if it was "someday. anyway good job keep it up
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Wow, thanks Brandi. I didn't think it was that good. I mean, sometimes you just have to let your emotion create the poem, and it will flow out on it's own. Thank you so much. I honestly think that's the best comment I've ever gotten. I'm glad "Hope Was Here" made you feel that way. You just made my day!
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W.O.W.
Dude....somehow, your poems ALWAYS leave me speechless. I could honestly cry at how powerful this was....My favorite line HAS to be...
"My tears are falling for the stars."
It's beautiful...I'm speechless. However, I can say that the rhyme scheme, the rhythm, and the flow of the words is magnificent. The colors and the background really give this a huge amount of meaning and makes the emotions real and raw...it's...wow.
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