To Mommy:
Just barely a baby
One cell split in two
You don't know me just yet
But I sure do love you.
I feel something cold
Slide smooth 'cross your belly.
A picture of me
Read through skin and jelly.
I was told I was made
In consumation of love.
I was picked just for you
A gift from above.
Can't wait for my trophies
From ballet or baseball
Just for you, Mommy,
I'll give life my all.
I know that you'll love me
Like Einstein reborn.
Little though did I know
From your womb I'd be torn.
Little by little
Baby pieces of me
Ripped in shreds from your body.
Hurts though I'm too small to bleed.
I guess Mom, you don't love me.
I did all that I could.
Mom, why don't you want me?
I must have I misunderstood.
*****************************
To Baby:
Sweet baby of mine,
Just cells with a soul
I'm not ready for you.
I can't make your life whole.
Don't think I don't love you.
I want for you just the best
For my sweet little baby
Love tears through my chest.
Theres no single thing
That you have done wrong.
I'm not ready for you yet.
I'm just not that strong.
Sweet baby of mine
I want you to know
It's because that I love you
That I have to let go.
I don't want you think
I didn't love you at all
It's just not the right time
For you, babydoll.
I want you to know
I want you next time.
Someday I'll be ready,
And you will be mine.
With situations too tough
I did what I could.
Please know sweet baby
I'm just your mommy, misunderstood.
Author notes
alittlewrong. I have NO IDEA where this came from. I have no personal experience with this at all, no friends or anything. but yet, here it is.
PS this is not meant to be offensive to anyone. Just two sides to one sad story
www.allpoetry.com/alittlewrong
Option 13- a controversial subject. I just want people to understand that thought its terrible and painful, the mother does not abort for fun and its equally as painful for all involved especially if they are berrated and abused for trying to make the right decision
A contest entry
- Broken Sadness by SunDew.
1200 points, ended February 26, 54 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lessons Learned, Starting Over and Taking That Time. by Shadow Stalker.
700 points, ended February 16, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Year. by alexandra..
900 points, ended February 17, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hearts of Many Have to See Your Imangination! Come Enter Here to Show Us!!! by LadyOfFate.
400 points, ended March 13, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Miscarriage (prewrites welcome) by Danna Hobart.
460 points, ended February 22, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Wow. This was intense and terribly sad...Really well written. Loved the story.
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love it
this reminds us there are always two sides to every story... both can be heart breaking.... every thing we say or do effects someone or something else.. and we dont even realize it...
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Oh this is so heartbreaking. You did an amazing job. Congrats on that gold trophy.
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wow.. heart wrencing...amazing...
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You did a beautiful job. Your poems moved me to tears, but the contest was about miscarriage, not abortion, so it does not qualify for a trophy in this one.
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This was a hard read from someone who has been torn from a child wanted so badly. But I do admire your courage to try to tell both sides. But that could just be the Political Science in me. In any case, your rhyme and flow were excellent.
Be Well,
***Rae***
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interesting rhyme scheme, i like it
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that is sad, you got me tearing up! Nice controverial write you even wrote both sides. Nicely done.
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Theres no single thing => There's/There is no single thing.
consumation => consummation/consumption.
Not all lines needed to be capitalized, unless the previous ended in a fullstop.
I like how your rhyme isn't forced on here.
However, in some parts the description is a bit of telling and not showing.
eg:
"From your womb I'd be torn."
And the images "Love tears through my chest."
"A gift from above."
Are a bit cliche.
I can feel some emotion here, that's undeniable.
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You did a fantastic job with this. I love the rhythm and the two sides of one story. Great job and good luck. Thanks for entering.
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i like the way you have the baby and mothers point of view this is a sad peace very well written congrats on the honor trophy
~GOOD LUCK~ -
Awww what a terribly sad story!
You've told both sides brillianly and I really felt for both mother and baby in this poem.
Great rhyming, very impressive.
All in all a well written poem.
Keep up the excellent writing.
--Stardust xx
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Bandit Appreciation!
Thank you for entering this write into this weeks reading list
your participation is appreciated!
The Poetic Bandits
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I really like the way that you have shown both sides of the story here - I have read many poems on this subject and I think that this is one of the most unbiased and well-written of them all. Very well done and I wish you the best in the contests!
Polly
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Wow what an amazing write! This is such a hard subject to address but you have done it well. Wonderful and heartfelt imagery throughout. Thanks for sharing, hugs Theresa
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The two sides are well written. good luck in the contest.
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that is a ton of contests with good reason. You really touched a nerve with me. Two sides of a sad story. Sad but true is the fact that this is what our lives are about really. It may start well but it ends on a bittersweet note at best.
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Wow lots of contests. I read the top poem before. Did you have to write a poem based off someone else's? It made me cry, both poems. I had an experience like this.
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I really like the way you give it from both points of view, and that you actually make the mother into a sympathetic character instead of a demon, which many poems on this subject seem to do. Your words are strong and your imagery powerful; this is a great piece.
~lost
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Bandit's Reading List
A very nicely written poem you are quite talented it is tarnished by using phrases like "Little by little
baby peices of me ripped in shreds from your body"
are an insult to the medical profession.The rest of the poem is beautful and does you proud.Keep Writing
......George
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Bandits Reading List ~
Wowzers ~
This is incredibly ... well it is just incredible; especially as this is not personal to you - you really captured the thoughts of both the baby and the Mother well and showed a light that not all women who have abortions do so just cause they can
Amazing poem!
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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very deep
thanks for sharing -
ttc
This poem not only brought tears to my eyes, but to those of my sister, as well, when I read it aloud to her over the phone. So many people only tell one side of this sad story. While I am very against abortion, I understand what makes many people have them. Yes, it's horrible any way you put it. But this showed true thought & love for both the unborn infant & the mom. The mom isn't always capable of handling the big change a child brings, & too many times, their answer is murder. But this poem just brings tears & sadness, not anger, once you read the part of the mom's side.
To all the Pro-Lifers: Let's not forget to have compassion on those who saw/ee this as their only option. For many of them this is the only choice they know.
To all the Pro-Choicers: Take into consideration how that unborn baby would feel. Realize that what grows upon conception is not just a clump of tissues in your body, but a baby who is simply trying to make it out into the world to meet you.
I have no higher praise than this:
A true classic in poetry.
Thank you so much for entering & good luck!
~Bright
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you picked the butched at birth prompt right?
(well thats the closest thing there is to killing the unborn)
its a little soft for my taste
but the poem is well written
thanks for entering my contest -
i loved it
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This really touched me. Very well penned.
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oh forgot these
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omg, i know this, and you have captured it perfectly, this is so touching to me, and and sent a shiver through my soul and a tear to my eye, i am truly choked up by this, seriously, the tears are flowing, (I must have I misunderstood.) i think you added an extra i
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Superb Plus
Aye, and very well expressed, indeed. You expressed your thoughts quite well on a sensitive and controversial topic. I liked how you showed both sides of the same coin. Again, well done. -
awwww its so cute!!!! nice write!!
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You see poems of this topic from the mothers and childs point of view, but this is the first I've read from both sides. You did a great job explaining the feelings from each person involved, and the contrast was done very well. The rhyme made it flow easier, and the slower rhythm forced you to read a little slower and really think about it. Great job, you did very well with this write!
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a good write
Don't think I don't love you.
I want for you just the best
For my sweet little baby
Love tears through my chest.
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Wow, this is awesome.
Best rhyming piece so far, your rhymes are clever and totally free flowing.
Awesome, you're in the finals. =]
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Although I understand that it was written from both sides of the view I cant help but have a totally biased opinion of it because I have a 4 month old baby girl. Its a wonderful write though and i commend you for sharing this.
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Hi! Please finish this as soon as possible. =]
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Username please? =]
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