Bitter brew, once swallowed,
remains unforgotten -
unbidden,
nostrils flare in memory
of its stench,
never feeling the sun withdraw -
only the velvet glove of moonlight
before the shadow season
paralyzed movement.
Trying, so hard,
to fit
into those damned, pointed shoes,
mired in what belief wanted -
you said I had feet of clay.
Attempting to mold them,
shape them,
force them
into glass slippers
no one could ever wear,
all to no avail.
Drawn into blackened spells,
conjured with intent,
there was a slight quiver in the bow
before its release
straight into this soul.
Suspicions of tarot cards cheating,
tea leaves of lying.
No way to unclench your talons;
piercing my heart
with tempest's fury,
a fierce cry in the night.
Never the picture painted
with your wild, broad brush of mystique.
Twisted love into loneliness, then fear.
raging for what was not lost.
(No one can lie better than we do to ourselves.)
Inventing games without rules
to keep me guessing & off-balance -
Knowing, then,
I'd have to sever myself, somehow,
from the trap set so subtly -
so convincingly.
Despair & wrath drew shutters over my eyes
when learning of her presence
behind the curtain,
suddenly immersed in self-loathing
for being such a fool.
Bastard!
All you gave me was a dead baby
& divorce papers soon afterwards,
stating we had no child.
I do not love you.
I do not hate you.
Thinking of you (rarely now,
these many years gone)
only when I suffer.
Indifferent
to your existence.
Be gone, nightmare.
You were never my dream.
We'd already discussed the when & where of it...& guess what? April just happens to be National Poetry Month. 
How apropos. Sighhh. 
Bronze trophy winner
Adding your comment:
wonderful!!!
Congrats, my dear friend. You deserve all the happiness there is in this universe! Yes, the poem is (as usual) a fabulous display of you accomplished pen; but I am absolutely THRILLED to hear such wonderful news! 
In all the suffering you have endured, finally a start pierces the darkness with bright shining light. 
Many congratulations 
)
Unlike they did, they, who judged me long before YOU did...I actually READ what the contest was about, Gill. I was innundated with an email campaign & IM's for over 2 days WHILE I had back to back migraines & ongoing medical problems & procedures goin' on that these people (so-called "friends") were well-aware of. They did NOTa read the contest; they ASSUMED. They demanded I delete this poem, as they thought this contest "promoted hatred". 
Hatred of morons who constantly screw up quotations, maybe. 
"Have my cake and eat it, too". "No rest for the wicked", etc. 
♥ 
*clink* 
WOOF. 
♥ ♦ ♠ ♣ 
