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I can almost

 

I'm lying in bed,
but I can't seem to sleep.
My mind is too busy,
my memories are too strong.
 
I can almost feel you next to me,
your arms wrapped around my waist.
I can almost hear you whispering,
telling me I'm safe.
 
 These memories, they are taunting me,
keeping me awake all night,
taking advantage of the only time
I'm not so busy that they can't get out.
 
I can almost feel your legs,
intertwined with mine.
I can almost feel your heartbeat,
beating a steady rhyme.
 
I'm tossing and turning,
the minutes are ticking by.
I'm waiting for the morning,
when I know I'm safe for a while.
 
I can almost feel your fingers,
running up and down my arm.
I can almost hear your breathing,
the sound keeping me calm.
 
The night is still and silent,
my soft cries are the only sound,
but I bury my face in my pillow,
I will suffer in silence.
 
I can almost feel your lips,
the kisses I love so much.
I can almost hear your sighs,
caused by my soft touch.
 
But I finally fall asleep,
though it's restless to be sure,
and I wake up in the morning,
just to go through it again that night.

 

Author notes

Im not sure on the non-rhyme/rhyme pattern. What do you think?

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • The rhyme/non rhyme pattern is interesting for the reader. Perhaps a bit hesitant because it does not release itself lyrically to the reader as a full rhyme scheme would. That is a technical issue. What you are saying through the imagery is powerful. The anxious nature of the piece is certianly present, but there is a mild surprising sensuality to it as well. Nicely written.


  • Manda-Lou
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this was really good. Nearly teared up and it takes a lot from a poem to make me cry. Fantastic.


  • Jihi-Kami
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    Bravo! Brova! Great poem. And oh boy, can I relate. Awesome. I have to say, thats the poem I've been trying to write. No wonder I couldn't do it, you already did. Anywaysss, great job. Loved it. Amazing. You had me at "I'm lying in bed, but I can't seem to sleep." even before I clicked on the poem. Anyway, I'll stop rambling as I try to say, great job. Wonderful poem.


    • Emerald-Eyes
      February 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much I really hope you are able to get around to writing your own poem like this, it was such a release for me and I'm sure it would be for you
      x


  • Temptation.
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    i like this so much!! the last stanza feels a little off to me. but still this is amazing. i know how this feels. =[ thank you so much for entering and good luck.

  • piccola silver member
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful. The rhyme seems inconsistent to me so I will read it again. Just now I am having some pain and am unable to comment as I normally do so for now I can only say thank you for your entry


  • thepoetssoul
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful piece of poetry.
    I for one am for the rhyme pattern for this piece.
    thats just my opinion, thanks for sharing.

    Tony


  • solidforever
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Thats deep I know how it feels. great read.Thanks


  • Kathraina silver member
    January 6

    Edit | Reply
    I like this piece ALOT. I've so felt this before. Great imagery and flow. I love the unique structure *keep it*

    One little itsy bitsy thing : 2nd stanza, line 2 - "wait" should be "waist"

    But great job, totally love this piece! BRAVO!

    ♥ Kathraina

1 - 9 of 9