i wish he knew

once these tears had finally stopped flowing
once i had began to accept it
once i had began to pick up the peices of my life
once i had began to look over the peice where you fit
he reminded me that you were gone
he reminded me that you wouldnt return
he reminded me of the cold tears that flew over my cheeks
he reminded me everything that i gave up
everything i could still have
he reminded me of my wrongs
these tears now flow
like the rain over a dried river bed
soaking my face
disappearing into the unknown
he never knew how much you meant to me
few did
he never stopped to think of how i was dealing
or not dealing
he just thinks its easy to let you go
he thinks i can lilve my life
without thinking about you
when everything in this house
reminds me of you
how i still find your hair stuck in my clothes
and cant pull it off
he never will understand how i still see you
hiding around the corner
or how i hear your footsteps behind me
and when i turn your not there
my eyes burn from the tears
i rub them away and try not ot cry
but they soon are replaced by new ones
he doesnt know that i stil blame myself
i wuish he knew that
he could beat me to death
and it wouldnt come close
to the pain he dredged
i touch my cheek\
to make sure he hadnt slapped me instead
because they burn hot
i know he doesnt care
about the love i have
or the guilt that lays upon my chest
feeling it slowly crushing
but did i really deserve that
did he really have to bring that up
with all the wrongs in my life
why pick the one i regret most
why he must be the vulture
that picks at the peice of my heart left behind
the part that didnt die with you that day
i only wish he knew the pain he caused
sitting on my bed
talking about you
like you were so important
as if you were never my child
the only one ever wanted
i just wish he knew what had been laid to rest in my chest
i wish he could feel these icy tears burn my cheeks
until they are raw and the unforgiving pain unbearable
i just wish he knew
of all the things he brought up
when he said
"did you cry much when patches died"?