Discolor
eyes lost their hue
leaking blue with daggers'
pierce in dart
;
Futile
the bird that fell from the sky
was already
dead
;
Disillusionment
eiderdown still holds fluff
of birds that dreamed
to fly high
;
Saturated
the willow tree collapsed
in droop
mutilated
by brutal blow
;
Retreat
dancing two steps sideways
one step backward
ever so graciously
further away
;
Release
skeleton beggar
crawls to separation
toward the final
breech
...
Author notes
Poster: Myra January, 2009 -- Self portrait -- Sight
A contest entry
- vignettes by mayaa.
400 points, ended February 15, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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While this poem
is process - seemingly a reflection-of-action, however there is also reflection-in-action - with a tinge of once bitten twice shy weaved within. Now matter the condition or situation, as portrayed within this poem, their is movement - while sometimes to the 'side', always to the future - on-going. No reflection is without pain, but also never without truth and honesty - this is reflected in this poem. Blessings. Frans
Ps
I just had to comment once again.
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Sometimes the fewer words said, the more they say. I love the simplicity, the meaningfulness of this wonderful piece. These are very profound little snippets, a superb poem .
Good luck in the contest
Dee
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A powerful self portrait of introspection. I find myself 'langishing' somewhere between saturated and retreat at the moment. And when we least expect it, the circle starts all over again. Awesome musing my sweet friend! Best wishes to you
Let the ink flow!
love and blessings, Sandi
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Sometimes it's hard to recognize this feeling but you've defined the title with your vivid snippets. Best of luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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These images speak to my present feelings. You have such economy of words, wonderfully done.
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It has a continuity, and each small piece fits together to make a larger picture. Very well-thought. Nicely written!
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Great Presentatin! The write had a powerful voice that kept me engaged the whole time. Great write.
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awesome write! I really like this one...I read it like 9 times...
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Your one of the best pretty poetess.
I read in wonder.
Good luck in contest
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Ha, as in AHHHH!
I agree with Lena, what a magnificent write. More words not written than I am comfortable to declare, but enjoyed both missing and those you tendered. A bunch ofs for this one! Frans
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delineated...saying more than behind you.
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Wow,
What vivid imagery that draws the reader to the very words you give life to as they intertwine. Thanks for sharing, this was amazing, as you always are!
-Timothy
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oh and good luck in the contest geesh I havn't entered a contest in years lol. hmmmmm just maybe I will find one that moves me. After all I need to feel a passion for the words to flow and like you I merely hold the pen!
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Ron Wiseman reposted my one and only contest ...
TRIO ... We are co-judges on that. If you want to enter, you are welcome. I think you may like the challenge. Thank you for reading my work and for your heartwarming comments. Love to you, Lena.
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I love the simplicity yet very thought out and well written poem. It's meanings speak volumes! thank you for a wondrful read
be well and be blessed
~Lena~
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