Here it is,
boxed with a pretty bow,
hearts strings dischordant
severed in sorrow.
For you were the one
who spurned my most precious of gifts,
plucking each thread,
silencing my song.
Neatly uncoupled,
drained of emotion,
but the blood wouldn't stop,
flowing in grief.
My own bloodied mess
stains these hands,
from a chest where I ripped
devotion's beat.
Now all is empty,
promises rejected,
freshly wrapped,
Merry Christmas to you.
Author notes
10. http://schnee21.deviantart.com/art/Dark-Christmas-2-108294256
A contest entry
- Dark picture prompt by desiredpain.
1075 points, ended January 10, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please Tell Me What You Think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Oh, this is painful even to read. You can feel the heart being torn out in these words. It hurts so much when they steal what makes you alive and then toss it away.
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There is soo much Ouchness in this, I can feel it seeping from the screen, and the second last stanza
Very well done my friend
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"stains these hands,
from a chest where I ripped
devotion's beat."
awesome write. I really enjoyed this one...you are very talented
good luck to you
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....
very...very emotional...overall very good poem good rhyme and format and love use of words ....fantastic!
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):
from a chest where I ripped
devotion's beat
i love that.
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Excellent
Oh my you did so great with this one. So very creative. Best of luck in contest
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Again, you captured the prompt perfectly..describing exactly how it feels to have one's heart ripped out. Awesome writing my friend..but ofcourse it is..you penned it.
Best of luck to you!
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