Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

You Rejected My Gift.

Missing image
Here it is,
boxed with a pretty bow,
hearts strings dischordant
severed in sorrow.

For you were the one
who spurned my most precious of gifts,
plucking each thread,
silencing my song.

Neatly uncoupled,
drained of emotion,
but the blood wouldn't stop,
flowing in grief.

My own bloodied mess
stains these hands,
from a chest where I ripped
devotion's beat.

Now all is empty,
promises rejected,
freshly wrapped,
Merry Christmas to you.

Author notes

10. http://schnee21.deviantart.com/art/Dark-Christmas-2-108294256

A contest entry

Please Tell Me What You Think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Rovingone gold member
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this is painful even to read. You can feel the heart being torn out in these words. It hurts so much when they steal what makes you alive and then toss it away.


  • Ken-Maverick
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    There is soo much Ouchness in this, I can feel it seeping from the screen, and the second last stanza
    Very well done my friend


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    January 6

    Edit | Reply
    "stains these hands,
    from a chest where I ripped
    devotion's beat."

    awesome write. I really enjoyed this one...you are very talented

    good luck to you


  • Insane-Joe
    January 6

    Edit | Reply

    ....

    very...very emotional...overall very good poem good rhyme and format and love use of words ....fantastic!


  • styrofoam
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    ):

    from a chest where I ripped
    devotion's beat

    i love that.


  • penman gold member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Oh my you did so great with this one. So very creative. Best of luck in contest


  • Carolina Moon gold member
    January 6

    Edit | Reply
    Again, you captured the prompt perfectly..describing exactly how it feels to have one's heart ripped out. Awesome writing my friend..but ofcourse it is..you penned it. Best of luck to you!

1 - 7 of 7