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idolatry; one glimpse
of your human side and
she twisted to the depth
of self-sacrifice, for
nothing but the chance
of your wayward fingers
whispering in her hair
and she will dance
on your word-knives,
paint herself silent,
and give you a taste
of graceful agony
to sweat over.
all she asks is the
orangepeel of your soul
but time passes, and
despite your dalliance
she is nothing but a
postscript on your way
to a happily-ever-after
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Author notes
The references in this poem rely on knowledge of the original, which can be found through this link: http://www.andersen.sdu.dk/vaerk/hersholt/TheLittleMermaid_e.html (yes I changed the ending a little - I call poetic licence).
A contest entry
- Twisted Faerie Tales by Miss Faerie.
400 points, ended January 21, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - redbird by notorious.
3999 points, ended March 3, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is a draft - be as harsh as you like.
Comments
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This is a really cool write, and I think it deserved more than a silver trophy (though still something to be proud of and congratulations!)
Best of luck in this one! -
Brilliant. I like that you make her someone who seduces and pulls you into the depths, with her hair and alluring manner.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Shari
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ooo...I like the little mermaid...good luck writing this piece
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A take on the Little Mermaid
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