Run, Cinderella girl, run
Before midnight takes hold
Run to your pumpkin of saffron
Run from the horrors foretold
Run, before the clock chimes it’s final chord
And your slippers of glass have a razor’s bite
With shards of glass your feet are adorned
Oh, how pitiful the servant girl’s plight!
Run, Cinderella girl, run
With your bloody mangled feet
Your cries and screams are a siren
A sparkling crimson river floods the street
Crawl, Cinderella girl, Crawl
Begrime your lovely dress
The sky opens to bitter rainfall
And uncrowns this pathetic princess
Die, Cinderella girl, die
When your enchanted pumpkin swallows you whole
For in this fairytale gone awry
Being late will cost you your soul
Author notes
Cinderella is my least favorite fairy tale. So I did the best I could with this prompt.
EDIT MADE TO FINAL LINE
I have to say though, I'm very satisified with the end result of this poem.
(this is my newest pre-write)
username:theroseofbattle
A contest entry
- Twisted Faerie Tales by Miss Faerie.
400 points, ended January 21, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bored Enter!!!!! Need to Read Something!!!!! by fairytalelovestory.
700 points, ended January 8, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ghost/Horror Story, NO RULES, PREWRITES ALLOWED. Have fun!:) Held by a 11 year old! by Daisy Ballerina.
565 points, ended January 8, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The First and the Last by TabbyCat.
900 points, ended February 13, 36 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
I liked this very much.
The change of death as opposed to a happily ever after was well done, the descriptive method of imagery also excellent.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Shari
-
I really like this...I loved the dark twist on an old fairytale.
-
terrific
This was a really neat poem, I never thought that you can make a fairy tale into a horror. Your work of this poem must of took you a while. Never read anything like it. -
Quite impressive I can almost here the evil step mother cackling in the background . Freaked me out. Nice write
-
wow that was a twist 4 sure!
kinda morbid but awsomeful anyways!
-
I loved this. I hate cinderella. I think you did I great job
-
great
what an unexpected twist, this is fab i enjoyed every minute of it, well done you deserve your trophies. Take care Kathrin xx -
wow
the ending is the best definitely a morbid tail of cinderella
well done -
This is such a great write. I do so love your twist on Cinderella... so very twisted and demented. Best of luck in all of the contest.
Caity
>Wakawaka<
-
very vivid, interestingly twisted on happy ending verses soul ending. nicely done.
-
great write. Cinderella is one of my favs! but you made quite a demented twist to the story...great work
-
love the flow to it =) very different take on the original story... a nice grim rendition of what could have been
-
That is certainly a very different take on the fairy tale. I like the twist you gave it, definitely not the normal view of the subject, which is a wonderful thing in poetry. Outside of that, the rhyme is great, but the flow of it is bit off in some places. Not so much a rhyme or meter issue, the repeated refrain is a lovely touch, but the stanzas appear slightly inconsistent.
Overall, I think this was imaginative and well written. Good luck to you in the contest.
-
wow. you make the story look so grim....but i luvv the descriptions. ^.^
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
