---Year One---
"you confess that when you were little, you tore petals off of flowers because they were beautiful and they needed to see what pain felt like."
In the beginning, I could never go a day
without hearing how beautiful you thought I was.
In the beginning, you would never let me hit the ground when I fell.
In the beginning,
I was yours.
Today, you got mad at me because I left my shoes in the middle of the living room floor, where you could trip over them in the dark. You took my favorite mug, the one my mother got for me in Washington, and you shattered it against the concrete outside our front door.
When I went out to get the mail, I purposely left my shoes off, so that the shards of glass could embed themselves into the soles of my feet
where they would stay with me forever,
like you once promised to do.
You didn't even notice the blood all over my socks.
---Year Two---
"sometimes I want to hurt myself and yell and scream and throw things through windows. just to see if you'd care.
you wouldn't, of course."
Notice me.
Notice me.
Notice me.
Look
At
Me.
I'm so tired of
thinking about
thinking about
thinking about
leaving you.
"This is
what it feels like
when home is nowhere."
---Year Three---
There was a time, when I had one of my twisted nightmares,
that you would be there when I woke up.
You would hold me and tell me it was just a dream.
Now, it's you I'm running from,
and you are all too real.
"I can't wake up anymore.
I can't wake up anymore.
I can't."
"I'm so sorry to be alive."
---Year Four---
"some things are
always more beautiful
fallen than flying -
things like leaves
and angels
and love."
I'm writing again.
Not that you would care.
You never read what I write.
In fact, you'll probably never even read this.
But I'm writing, and that's all that matters.
It's all that convinces me I still have a soul.
Somewhere.
"I blend into crowds and
my feet don't need to
touch the ground, because
it turns out, my backaches
were only a pair of wings
just waiting to burst out
and help me escape from
gravity."
People see me now.
Without you to block the sun, it's no wonder.
---Year Five---
"Sometimes I doubt if love actually exists."
I expend pounds of energy
to get ounces further from the truth
that I'm falling again.
I'm falling.
But, truth be told,
this time,
it feels more like flying.
Author notes
TabbyJoy
"She's not the kind of broken that needs to be fixed..." Aanika
Portions of this poem in double quotation marks were taken from works by Aanika. She is amazing, and I'm honored that she allowed me to "sample" her work. This poem is intended as a tribute to honor her style of writing. She has inspired me to try new things, and to share pieces of myself that I used to keep under lock and key.
Thanks, Aanika.
A contest entry
- it's been a year. by aanika.
6011 points, ended January 30, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One Hour: by Randomly Beautiful.
400 points, ended April 15, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prose ONLY. by samantha jean.
750 points, ended April 28, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prose by HereComesTheSun.
950 points, ended May 26, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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was a very very well written piece and the form in my eyes was written flawlessly. thanks for entering
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'In the beginning, I could never go a day
without hearing how beautiful you thought I was.
In the beginning, you would never let me hit the ground when I fell.
In the beginning,
I was yours.' - So beautiful. This part is hopeful in a way, but as I read it I knew there would be a turn around.
'When I went out to get the mail, I purposely left my shoes off, so that the shards of glass could embed themselves into the soles of my feet
where they would stay with me forever,
like you once promised to do.' - I love the imagery in this. You can see this whole scene, and know the pain you/your character must have felt.
Brilliant work. This is exactly what I was looking for.
Thank you so much for entering my contest, and good luck.
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"This is
what it feels like
when home is nowhere."
Odd how that line would stick out for me, but it did. I guess it's because my husband is home to me. I would know exactly how this felt if ever I was without him. Home really is where the heart is...
-
WOW!!
I love this piece so dearly!!! It is like you are me and you are speaking with my tongue and putting my thoughts on a page. How wonderful when a poet is able to touch readers so deeply!!!!
The whole poem is wonderful but the part that stuck out for me personally was:
"I blend into crowds and
my feet don't need to
touch the ground, because
it turns out, my backaches
were only a pair of wings
just waiting to burst out
and help me escape from
gravity."
People see me now.
Without you to block the sun, it's no wonder.
and then the ending when you compare falling to flying...Great job thanks for entering and good luck!
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omg soooo awesome this is exactly how i feel all the time kepp up the good work i love reading from u
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interesting
I have to admit that I'm not that fond of the technique of "sampling" in any genre but you have, at least, introduced me to aanika's work which is after all, one of the puposes of an homage. Your work is strong enough to stand alone but maybe I'm just geedy for more of it. Thanks for broadening my horizens.
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I really loved this.
Usually, I have difficulty getting into something that doesn't rhyme, but you took care of that with a very intriguing opening line. After that, the quality and sincerity of the work hooked me. I had no choice but to feel what I was reading. There's alot of very notable lines, but this one in particular spoke volumes to me.
"I expend pounds of energy
to get ounces further from the truth
that I'm falling again."
Well done & it's good to read your work, as always.
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i loved this poem btw you are AMAZING~!!!!
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this is absolutely beautiful.
it made me feel so...i don't like. hopeless. and i just, understood it.
i'm sorry, i'm really bad at comments
"
"you confess that when you were little, you tore petals off of flowers because they were beautiful and they needed to see what pain felt like."
In the beginning, I could never go a day
without hearing how beautiful you thought I was.
In the beginning, you would never let me hit the ground when I fell.
In the beginning,
I was yours.
Today, you got mad at me because I left my shoes in the middle of the living room floor, where you could trip over them in the dark. You took my favorite mug, the one my mother got for me in Washington, and you shattered it against the concrete outside our front door.
When I went out to get the mail, I purposely left my shoes off, so that the shards of glass could embed themselves into the soles of my feet
where they would stay with me forever,
like you once promised to do.
You didn't even notice the blood all over my socks. "
the first year was definitely my favorite.
=]
-
Very incisive and accurate. This has a melancholic beauty all of its own. It's like nothing I have read before. There is such a density to it - words are packed full of meaning and each line could almost stand alone as a poem. I am very impressed!
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aanika is amazing. And this piece is amazing. The beginning and ending I have to say were my favorites. I love the lines "When I went out to get the mail, I purposely left my shoes off, so that the shards of glass could embed themselves into the soles of my feet
where they would stay with me forever,
like you once promised to do."
It sounds like something I would do.
Best of luck.
-
Oh wow..... This is amazing Tabby! Wow! I am left speechless and my thoughts are twirling throughout and around these words of magnificant caliber *worship* Great Job!
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This is an amazing poem. It has huge impact and is awesomeawesomeawesome. I agree that Aanika is amazing. It's interesting how you fit the quotes in there.
"Now, it's you that I'm running from,
and you are all too real."
"People see me now.
Without you to block the sun, it's no wonder. "
You're making some excellent quotes of your own! And the ending is ABSOLUTELY perfect. I love it love it love it!
"I'm falling.
But, truth be told,
this time,
it feels more like flying."
Just beautiful.
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wow
this was amazing.
while i read, it was like a movie playing in my head.
i am speechless.
i love this.
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Each year has some awesome phrases that truly hit home. ...The weight of thinking about leaving someone, how you can be seen now, that one is stellar, year two makes me think of a client who said about her husband "I shouldn't be this lonely within a relationship" How true your words are, how descriptive. Well done.
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This is interesting. It basically outlined the relationship I had though mine lasted 7 years instead of five. I was that kind of child, who pulled the petals off of flowers, I too was the kind who would allow myself to be hurt just to see if anyone had noticed. With this I felt as if you were writing for me. Thank you, it was extremely well written and I enjoyed it.
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please let me know when this is finished so I know to come back and read it
thanks!
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