That hot summer,
my swollen womb throbbed
and mind's eye blurred,
hormones plagued
like cloaks fleeced in
locusts
casting lots
on cloudy gods.flittered
in swarms
squirming, chirping
inside
my angry core.
Life was sleep,
and sleep - food,
‘til I rocked,
drifted off.
There we were-
I was glued
to His
bleeding ear,
my sweating cheek pasted to
his clotted hair, and I
one in One
with A dripping Skull,
on the uphill climb
(tasting the strangle of
His moan,)
jaws touching,
a tine scraping bone in bass
decibel,
I spoke -
"closer than skin to You
sharing the scaling Pain"-
smells of ashy wood,
the dogwood pillar on a creased
shoulder,
mix of salty flesh
on my gasping tongue
“Ohh,!”He exhaled. I heard through
my mouth adjacent
Again, and again, chin dropping
in the travel to his labored death
Walking to His Standing grave,
with me.
Instead- of me,
for me.
I awoke.
-then knew,
I fell~cried out
of wet purple lungs
flooded with Love
and-
Believed.
(/revision/)
Author notes
Written February 12th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Chillingly Beautiful by pepperella.
300 points, ended August 25, 2004, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Goodness, Girl! Wow! This is such a powerful write, delivered without hesitation, according me to smell the scent of blood-laced breath and hear the moans, shiver . . . This was better than a pot of coffee for a wakeup this morning. You did an exceptional job here, put me right in that powerful moment, right there, and I was breathless too, and that is incredible poetry! Wonderful! Love to you, Friend!--Kel
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wow
this is excellent poetry... i am very impressed... your words leave the reader with much to think about and ponder... you've gotten some great comments already and i reiterate the "wow" factor on this one... keep on writing... keep on being... keep on making art... and never let your light burn out! penumbrapoet -
wow... wow... uhm did i mention wow? u know i was gonna write a long comment for the points... dont have to... thnx...wow... ^_^
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Powerful Piece!
Talk about a moving piece, wow, this I felt deep within my soul, and as I read, the story unfolds, for his love is forevermore, and we are one with the One indeed, for He has made it possible for us to be.
Amazing piece of love in poetry, and let the truth shine from your love divine that comes from above.
Much love sweet soul!
-Timothy The Poetic Weaver
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Supreme Writing
This is magnificent and powerful. I'm loquacious and this leaves me both breath-less and speechless. With such profound meanings, brought to life in an amazing display of fresh and original descriptions. The rhythm established in the first few stanzas carry through flawlessly. The clarity is profound--the use of well crafted sonics makes this read off the tongue like satin... Such lines stick out in mind like: ALl of S1, all of S3, and oh, goodness everywhere... there is some amazingly creative image that leaves me amazed. I liked how the lower case 'g' in god of S2 works, allowing the reader to see the cloud gods hold no power... Other small details through out the poem, make this a multi-readable poem each time walking away with some new and profound discovery! Excellent Craft... Best WIshes, Liz -
I found this quite hard to read but like mellor I enjoyed the first stanza.
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This is very good!! It drips heat. The first stanza, I adore! The whole poem though, it really clings to me, as the reader, yells in my ear, yet is almost placid at the same time.
Very well done
x -
This is a massive write. I love it. I can't even explain how much I like this piece. Yes indeed, it brings me closure to my beliefs. i think you did a magnificent job. Keep up the great work
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. I can't say anything. Massively choked up... needed this... thanks.
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Reminded me of seeing the Passion of the Christ. I could for the first time, 'see' him walking up that hill with blood dripping from his brow with clothes clinging to his bloodied skin. All for me. All out of love. I can see how this picture leaves a deep impression. Your words describe the same seen and leave a deep impression with the reader.
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Now this one's intense - throbbing emotion laced with eloquent word choices.
Again, you've gone a great job. I have a feeling you have tomes of these kind of beautiful poetry.
Until then, Vanessa -
wow... i hope i do not use this word so much as to negate it's meaning, but this was simply refreshing to read. so much "Christian" poetry is so stale and cliche-ridden and touching on the same topics in the same ways that i can hardly read it, and i'm a Christian! i am so happy you entered our contest and, through that, i am able to come and receive from your poetry. That sweet fellowship that flows from the cross. This was beautiful. i also wanted to tell you that i would love your "level two" critiques on anything you are so inclined to read on my page. mucho gusto, that is, i am very pleased to meet you here.
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Hey,
I've just been reading more of your recent poems and I've got to say that you really do have a remarkable way with words. I think it's often as much to do with the way that one thought leads into another without explicitly stating that this is where the piece is going that gives it a certain je ne sais qua.
This piece was particularly interesting to me. Perhaps part of the reason for this is because I am not a believer in God and so reading someone's reason to believe and, therefore, their raison d'etre is fascinating. You tell the tale in such an interesting way that makes this piece and your writing style generally stand out from many others I read here on AP.
Thanks for sharing.
Damian. -
WOW, this is great. I really enjoyed reading every word of it. Thank you so much for sharing your words and creativity wit all of us here.
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This is very nice and meaningful.Dreams mean a lot.And a dream like you had was AMAZING.When I read it the first time I had no idea who it was about,but I saw One capitalized,very subdle,so I had to read it again.And the second time was even better.Good write!
~COOKIE~ -
What an awesome poem about Christ's crucifixion and how it came to you... for your salvation. I sensed the mission of this poem before its conclusion, but I didn't realize it first had been a dream. I know those dreams, except mine have been prophetic... about the church and these very last days. GOD IS AWESOME and we both know it and have felt it over and over. Fantastic write! ~~BonnieQ
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Just reading it i felt as if i was watching the Crucifixion. very few meaningful things make me cry and I must admit this had me teary-eyed...GOD IS SO GOOD...GR8 WRITE. Oh and God works in Mysterious ways
Edited on Feb 19, 8:19 p.m. because ''. -
Thank you!! Only YOU and anyone who knows and accepts Christ alone would know that impact!! The dream was the meshing of my understanding of such a horrible need to be as one!
thank you...Love, Dianne the Cookie
Edited on Feb 22, 7:58 p.m. because ''. -
Dearest Dianne
Your dream is as real as the Realness of His Being! We love; we live; we die; we stive ... with Him, through Him; TO Him ...
Thank you for an amazing poem ... This is Poetry of Divine Intervention - to His glorification.
Love.
Myra
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As Simeon assisted Jesus with his cross to Calvary, so we too must relive what he experienced although vicariously to fully attain that "belief" which will commit us to Him for all of eternity. I had no doubt of where this painfilled image was taking me line for line it became all too vivid, for I too, "am crucified with Christ."
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Nothing like putting the power of words into a poem-- used with good effect.
There is a push pull effect here. . .that I sense from the words which convey a deeper meaning. . .the deeper meaning the material expression verses the spiritual one (the spiritual gives you away everytime. . .making my job easier in the interpretation department)
Quite a good write, dear, Cookie.
Edited on Feb 15, 11:07 p.m. because ''. -
thy journey traveled...through thy dreams
has this person thinking abit!
Interesting perceptions my friend!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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I can see throw the shadows as the soul was cast for all eternity to the freedom you now bestow...
what a blissful journey that you will always remember!
Tamara -
I have to admit, I am glad you explained this one in the above comment. I was so caught up in the brilliance of expression and imagery to even try to comprehend it the first go around reading it. This sounds like such an intriguing dream, one that I don't think I'd like to experience, seeing the crucifixion first hand, so to speak. Thanks for sharing this with us all!
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I'm glad you where shown in a dream of being connected to Him Cookie and the trails you face being his but him there with you glad you explained above what this was about......Love you hugs,Sherry
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Why, thank you!! It was about a dream I had 27 years ago when I doubted God. In that dream I was physically connected to Jesus as he labored to his crucifix. It was one of the most realistic and meaningful prophetic dreamns I'd ever had!
Thank you for trying
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It was a little hard for me to figure this one out, but your choice of words is truly beautiful to behold.
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