How cruel, how fickle, Queen of mercy grow
what quality -a- me does life bestow.
My head held low, lest I much pitied be
or from their lips I wear my mothers woe
My world revolves, but oh my liberty
is much curtailed by courtly ministry
And so ingrained by worldly alchemy,
does make my mind embezzled by such foe.
.
Still not content, my persecutors flee.
(old men of ill intent and men of wise,)
unseasoned hours spent plotting my demise,
still nought of any ill they prove of me.
Oh heart of care that harbours new despair,
by decree to the tower I must go.
A scream froze my lips and the terror flared,
as through the traitors gate my warder’s row.
Author notes
The lady is the princess Elizabeth, daughter of Henry the Eigth and later Queen Elizabeth the first of England.
I intend to extend this poem, please tell me what you feel would further or improve it
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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This was just excellent -- you write in this form and manner of language so well; it reads as though you and the reader are right at the scene. Wonderful work, ronnica.
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Oh, you know so much of the history of the royal family. I love these writes and wish I had the same knowledge you posess to write some like this myself. Keep them coming!...alby
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The Poetic Bandits
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A very extaordinary piece, the story is great with great rhyme and rhythm. An interesting lady that is for sure. Awesome write!
Love & Light
Debbera
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Wow! The story in this is so amazing, you convey it so well. The rhyme and meter are beyond exceptional, this just flowed so well and was a delight to read because of it. This is a powerful piece, I love how you give words to Elizabeth through this, and make it almost a riddle with the title. Amazing. I like it the length it is, I think it really ties together at the end well.
Well penned,
~lost
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This is awesome!! I love the background, by the way. You wrote this perfectly and I really love it!
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Bandits United
What travesty this, what have I done,
guiltless, why must I pay the price.
That at my own fathers behest,
must I face my ignominious doom.
May I humbly offer this to possibly enhance
your already beautiful poem perchance? ...George
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Wow this is good
I really enjoyed this particularly the rhyming couplets that instantly make me think Shakespear, and I adore Shakespear. So maybe I am a tad bit biased. ;^)
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Stunning
This poem really creates a feeling of Elizabethan England when life was very cheap and being sent to the tower was not uncommon. I thought this poem was excellent bringing her to life in front of our eyes and the rhyme was strong thoughout. I can just imagine her surrounded by courtiers -some meaning her well and others hoping to conspire against her. A fantastic poem.
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Thank you K D, Awesome is truely awesome.
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Oh thank you so much George, but I have adressed this in my other poem,
( A Queen Weeps ) Ann Bolyn and Henry. If you would like to read it go to my page and scroll down
By the way her father made her his heir - after her sister Mary, who was the Queen in this poem giving Elizabeth a hard time. -
I am glad you enjoyed this Dark Wind and thank you for commenting.
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Thank you Room--- life was cheap especially at the court of
Queen mary, her sister.almost as cruel as their father.
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Winklings Reading List
Love the vocabulary ~
This is such an interesting, strong and dark piece that makes me wish to read it more than once I don't think this needs extending but when you do so please let me know I'd love to read it
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Thank you Manda, she was such an interesting Queen to write about
and I love the history of England
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Yes, those touches of old English were a benefactor to the poem. I don't know why, I literally have no idea why, but that reminded me of Queen Elizabeth I. For whatever reason.
I don't know if this would be suitable, but:
"A scream touched my heart and the terror flared,"
if it was:
"A scream touched my heart and terror flared,"
I don't know if that helps any. I am an amateur to good constructive criticism.
An interesting read.
Regards,
- A.C.
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Thank you AC yes she was Elizabeth 1 probably her horror at being taken through Traitors Gate it is a well known part of her history.
"the terror_ keeps the syllable count. -
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Oh wow, lucky guess, I don't know much about Quuen Elizabeth I other than she fought the Spaniards in a huge battle to be dominant over Europe (That was the first Elizabeth, right?).
Sorry for my not so well though out revisions. I'll get better at this in time, I hope.
- A.C.
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Love the dark imagery, the flow of this one has an older flair, very nice and enjoyable read.
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Thank you Tirrell so glad you enjoyed it
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