Silently swinging in the emptiness of time
Her spirit lingers longer, still.
Winters cold death like grasp, holds tight.
Just before her lays the river where she drowned.
Two years ago this day.
The crows, they too notice her presence
Squawking silently to themselves, they care not.
She starts to sing a song, bittersweet
Tears begin to roll from my eyes, I'm Overtaken;
with sadness, her lullaby I listen to:
'I’m giving up the ghost of love
In the shadows cast on devotion
Break this bittersweet spell on me
Lost in the arms of destiny'
I tremble listening to her mournful sound
and weep mournful tears of her loss
then, silence, I look up to where she is
and find her no longer there
She is gone again
and I am left
Weeping...
Author notes
3. Haze of white the picture it self and listening to Bittersweet, by Apocalyptica...a beautiful and heartfelt song that gives me chills...
name: ADEMON
A contest entry
- the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best ! by icesc8ergirl.
450 points, ended April 14, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What is one thing that stood out in this poem?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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This sent chills down my spine! So sad...so beautiful! If this is based on truth, I hope they find rest. If this is from your head only, you've got a great imagination! Chills! Awesome job!
Thanks for entering & good luck!
~Bright Cheetah
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This is just from my head and what I saw in the picture, thank you for your wonderful comment and compliment, I hope your son has a wonderful 1st birthday!!!
Aaron aka Ademon on AP -
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Thank you! You know, you're the first person from this contest to wish him a happy birthday?
It was my pleasure, Aaron.
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Wow, this is pretty deep and sad.
It's a terrible feeling when your life
is taken away so suddenly and tragically
like that. You can only hope that that
soul will find tranquility and be able to
one day rest in peace. Well done my
friend and all the best to you here!
Jeremy0826 -
Great take on the prompt
Rather sad..very moving and beautifully written.
Well done.
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Very moving. Sad but beautiful.
Jenny -
Very sad write but written so well
You penned a mastepiece here and followed the contest rules to a tee good luck in the contest
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That sounds like it's based on an experience you had. Very sad but hopeful, too!
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a brilliant take on the promt good luck inthe contest
maralisa
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thank you hun, hollowriver, has her work cut out for her in this contest for there a some very talented writers in this!
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This is an amazing poem, it has vivid imagry... i love it.
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Thank you deary!
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So you're how she found me! lol, I got randomly invited to join this.
Up for some competition? As usual your writing is absolutely beautiful. You always have such vivid imagery and this time is no different! This is sad and full of longing. It pulls you in and holds you there. Excellent work.
Critical comment: "and find no her no longer there" - I think you may have put in one too many "no"?
Still... lovely!
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God save you girl, I love the fact that you can read my work and find the little things that I miss!!! You need to start reading more of my stuff to help catch them!!! Thank you for your wonderful comment, competition...are you kidding me? I have a feeling with you entering I may as well kiss my poem good bye... lol I hope you do enter though I would love to get your take on this prompt!
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