Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

One Man In Nature's Hand

One man, alone and determined to find
himself a showplace of spectaculor evolution.
Land from which nature carved him a niche,
a place for him to retire in Heavenly solitude.

Like a painting that suddenly burst into life
was a frontier frozen in time unseen by man:
It lay near the soft murmur of a river flowing
against the heartbeat of the earth beating,
located in the middle of the state of Alaska.

Each remarkable day brought great rewards.
His mission become a beguiling adventure
as he searched this cold place was a challenge.
He went to search for a grove of special trees.
The land surrounding it all was so full of song
the untamed splendor so beautiful he ached;
it all seemed to speak personally to only him!

Standing true to his word, he was ready to start
now tracking thru the`woods to gather wood.
He worked steady shaping each piece he needed
recording his thoughts each day after building
keeping his camera close in tow to record all.

All was soon finished, his home now erected,
he noted even in the wild lands flowers bloomed.
At times it seemed to him the earth and sky met,
as if he was residing in an almost changless setting
yet not the lonely place so many had predicted.

He spent the best time of his life while living there
thirty years seemed to fly by when feeling so exulting.
Hidden deep in the universe, he'd carved his place,
laid  it upon a once barren piece of earth now revamped.
It was so seductive for him to able to live his passion!

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • michaeline
    January 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This is differant then what I expected when I read the title.This is really good.My favorite line was the last.The relation of the first line and the last to the poem stood out well.Liked you title choice and the flow to this poem.Very well written.


  • Kevin Moderators member
    January 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    lovely work!

    "Land from which nature carved him a niche" needs an article. The land? What is the land doing anyways? Is he carving the niche, that would make more sense.

    Drop the "Like a", it's clear this is a metaphor without that...

    "in the middle of the state of Alaska. " wordy, perhaps just say 'alaska'?

    'woods - no apostrophe, as it's not slang for anything...

    He worked steady shaping -> use active language, He steadily shaped ...

    'keeping his camera close in tow to record all.' show us him taking the photos, rather than having the camera ready, perhaps? 'to record all' felt wordy too. Isn't that what cameras are for?

    Fun write, hope you enjoy the critical review


  • Denerica
    January 5, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Feel the solitude and peace of living that way, and in a spiritual sense treading through the wilderness to make sure we know ourselves...wonderful write.