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why cant i be like you?

why cant i
look like you?
be comfortable in my own skin?
be confident within myself?
i would die
to be like you
to have your hair
to have your waist
to have your butt
to have your chest
to have your nails
to have your car
to have your family
to have your confidence
to have your life
to have your job
to have your popularity
each and every day
i kill myself
a little more
to be you

Author notes

envy

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Symphony
    April 3

    Edit | Reply
    this didn't really do it for me - i think hte constnat repetition killed it a little - it wasn't really a 'poem' as such, to me, but more of a rant that belongs in a journal - just my opinion.

    thanks for taking the time to enter anyway.

  • Symphony
    April 3

    Edit | Reply
    this didn't really do it for me - i think hte constnat repetition killed it a little - it wasn't really a 'poem' as such, to me, but more of a rant that belongs in a journal - just my opinion.

    thanks for taking the time to enter anyway.


  • Candyknife gold member
    January 4
    Edit | Reply

    hmm..

    this is very dramatic
    i liked it, it read like an obsession too
    good job

  • Asabouros.
    January 4

    Edit | Reply
    *taken a little aback* not the type of thing I would think that I would enjoy reading, but I really did.

    I think you've done a pretty damn good job expressing envy, the repetition was nice.

    Good luck in the contest.