Hope is not in a bottle,
nor in a needle.
You can't find a pill
that fits the bill
Hope is in your Bible.
Hope is in your heart.
Scoop up a mind full
for you to impart.
Author notes
IV
A contest entry
- Hope by PsychoAnalysis.
950 points, ended January 6, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - and bless me... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended January 10, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - help me make it through by stylization.
400 points, ended January 28, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'd like some feedback.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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"Hope is not in a bottle,
nor in a needle" amazingly true. I wish my father could see life this way. I am not incredibly religious but I agree there is hope in the Bible. It's a short but touching write. I loved it. Inspiring.
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I'm not a fan of the religious part. My personal beliefs aside, I like the poem a lot. I really like the beginning, where you say 'hope is not in a bottle, nor in a needle'
I don't like the rhyme scheme, however. 'pill / that fits the bill' sounds childish, and there is no rhyme for 'bottle' or 'needle.' My advice for this one would be to scrap the rhyme.
But great job laying it out and expressing your ideas! Thanks for entering! -
very well put i love it and keep up the great writing.
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Beautifully written and a great message more people need to look to their Bible for answers and peace within themselves and for others I quite agree.
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Ah..what a truth you have discussed here with so much wisdom and so much beauty of the soul..I love it..and my thanks for such a wisdom...
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I like the idea behind this. it has a great down to earth feel. best of luck in my contest.
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Hope dwells in the heart indeed and you've penned your thoughts well in this short poem.
Thanks for dropping by and all the best in the contest
Ken
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Wow
This is a very good take with prompt. I like what you said in this piece, especially the first 4 nines here. all the best in the contest, Michele
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