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Farewell My Love

Missing image

 

 

Here I stand looking out at the sea
Wondering what just happened to me

I thought we were destined to be together
Then I received your unforgiving letter

You speak of another who has stolen your heart
You love her deeply so now we must part

It broke my heart when you tossed me aside
You left me nothing, not even my pride

Now I stand here frigid and all alone
Feeling my bitter heart turning to stone

I can’t stop thinking where I went wrong
For in your strong arms is where I belong

You shattered my dreams and hopes for tomorrow
All you left behind is tears, heartache and sorrow

Standing on the cliff’s edge watching the clouds descend
I say farewell to my love lost, knowing this is the end


Author notes

By: doolie

Picture Prompt from http://FrozenStarRo.deviantart.com/art/Forever-gone-forever-you-46722856


juliex-exotic shine contest Option 1 ~ "Otherwise DQ"




Gold, Bronze, HM (2)

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 43 of 43

  • condor gold member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful piece that is full of sadness and sorrow. You have won so many trophies with this wonderful write and i can see why. As i read this and got to the lines...I can't stop thinking where i went wrong, for in your strong arms is where i belong. It suddenly dawned on me that in a lot of poems, the person who was left always feels as if they had done something wrong. Most of the time, this is not the case. You have delivered a very realistic feel to this poem. One which unfortunately happens every day, and there is always someone feeling the guilt for the split. Perhaps there wasn't a fault to be laid, just a change in the person and a new road. Thank you for the wonderful read. (I had read this before and after this read, i needed just to comment on that).


    • doolie gold member
      June 21
      Edit | Reply
      I couldn't agree with you more. People grow and change everyday. Some times they grow closer together and sometimes furter apart. Some times we don't want to see what is right in front of our eyes. We can't except what is happening until it's too late. All that is left is heartache and sorrow. We must learn, grow and move on. Our experiences in life make us who we are today. Thank you for your heartfelt comment.


  • Night Terrors
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    awe that was so sad!!!!! It was written very well.


    The Positives:

    great imagery and such sad emotion I really loved it

    Room For Improvement:
    Nothing I can see you did wonderful



    My Favorite Part:

    It broke my heart when you tossed me aside
    You left me nothing, not even my pride

    Now I stand here frigid and all alone
    Feeling my bitter heart turning to stone

    I can’t stop thinking where I went wrong
    For in your strong arms is where I belong


    almost made me cry
    Overall:

    I give this an 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.

    ~*~Apathetic Poison~*~


    • doolie gold member
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful and detailed comment. I'm pleased that you enjoyed my write.

  • abmsem
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    Heart-wrenching. I loved it and can relate so much. Even though it was sad to read, you wrote so beautifully and the emotion was clear. Brilliant write, thanks and good luck


    • doolie gold member
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I'm pleased that you enjoyed my emotional write.


  • tears.of.silence
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    great work in not going over the line limit.

    Very very good. You took the prompt and really hit it over the head with the hammer so to speak. Excellent work. I'm glad you entered this because it truly does fit this contest perfectly. I'm really like the flow of this poem. I'm going to make one suggestion:

    "So now I stand here all alone
    I feel my heart turning to stone"

    Let's try something like this:

    "Now I stand here frigid and all alone
    Feeling my bitter heart turning to stone"

    Just a thought deary! The poem itself though is wonderful. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you. Kahy

    • doolie gold member
      April 22
      Edit | Reply
      OH WOW!!! Thank you so much Kahy for the Gold trophy. I'm so happy that you enjoyed my write enought to honor me with the gold shinny.

      Thank you sweetie.

    • doolie gold member
      April 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Kahy for your wonderful comment. I like your suggestion alot. I think I'll edit my write.

      Thanks for putting on the contest.


  • MichaelSavage gold member
    March 29
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done. Sad. Good job and good luck.
    Michael


    • doolie gold member
      March 29
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I'm happy that you enjoyed my write.


  • Still Standing gold member
    March 25
    Edit | Reply
    Great job keep entering this it is bound to win a gold! this is nearly perfect!


    • doolie gold member
      March 26
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I'm happy that you enjoyed that much. I'll keep entering it.


  • xLovingxMyxAngelx
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    wow so painful


    • doolie gold member
      February 10
      Edit | Reply
      WOW!!! Thank you so much for the bronze trophy. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed my write.


  • Luciferschild
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    i liked the rhyme scheme but something was missing even tough i couldnt really put a finger on it thank you for entering and good luck


  • Rashida
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the last line, it was such a lonely image. Very nice entry, thank you so much for sharing it.


    • doolie gold member
      January 19
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the honorable mention. I so happy that you liked my write.


  • Violent Glass
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    this is grat
    its so incredible
    great job
    its so full of hurt
    great job!


    • doolie gold member
      January 18
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful comment. I'm so happy that you enjoyed my write.


  • serenity silvermoon
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    wow i am sorry someone ripped your heart out s i wish i can could them like they hurt you but i can't because that would make me no better then they are i hope you find someone who will love you for who you are and will be with you till death do you part great write sad but great thank you for sharing your heart


    • doolie gold member
      January 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your heartfelt comment. Don't worry hun, I do have a special someone who truely loves me.


  • echo-ink
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    oops, forgot these


  • echo-ink
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poem full of loss and heartbreak,
    Great job, doolie,
    Love Bell,

    • doolie gold member
      January 15
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for dropping by to read my write. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it.
      Thanks for the wonderful comment.

  • condor gold member
    January 9
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful piece of work filled with a heck of a lot of emotion. You wrote this so well, I could see you standing there lost and alone. Beautiful rhyme rhythm and flow which all brought this poem to a great end. The best in the contest.


    • doolie gold member
      January 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you my friend for your lovely comment. I'm please that you enjoyed my write.


  • Brilliant Blonde22
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    I loved this it shows your anger but youalso show that you still have your pride be strong writer


    • doolie gold member
      January 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the honorable trophy. I'm pleased that you like my write. You made my day.


  • daviscth silver member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    You did a wonderful job with this poem and it goes just fine in my contest. Thank you for your entry.


    • doolie gold member
      January 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I'm pleased that you like my poem.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful take on the picture. I can feel the depth of sorrow as I am reading it. The rhyme and flow don't miss a beat, wicked work. Good luck


    • doolie gold member
      January 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you my lovely lady. Your comment means the world to me.


  • Firequeen
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    oohh the other woman i was waiting for one like this. i see so many different things when i look at this picture. That is one of them
    you did a wonderful job with it too.
    Thank you for your entry
    good luck to you


    • doolie gold member
      January 5
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your lovely comment. I'm just starting to write so this comment really made my day.

      Laura


  • hotchocolate gold member
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is written very well and enjoyed the read even though it was sad! You did a wonderful job on this hon and good luck in the contest


    • doolie gold member
      January 5
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for you wonderfull comment.


      Laura


  • Amera gold member
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with Sue. You really did do a good job on this poem and there is a place for slant rhyme and as we learn more together I will tell you when we can use it. Keep up the great work.

    Love,
    Amera♥

    • doolie gold member
      January 5
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Amera, for your wonderful comment and all your encourgement. I am trying but I know I have alot to learn.
      Thanks Again.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    A good poem, rhyming couplets and the rhythm is smooth all apart from the last two lines which have slant rhyme and seem to have lost the flow, but it is a good take on the prompt.

    All the best in the contest...Sue

    • doolie gold member
      January 5
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your honest comment. I went back and reread it and I agree on the last 2 lines. I will work on it more once the contest is over. Since I'm so new at this, I'm not sure what a slant rhyme is. I'm sure that I will soon learn.
      Thanks Again


  • Maxboy gold member
    January 4

    Edit | Reply
    Very good love, great take on the prompt.

    Wonderful....Best wishes in the contest


    • doolie gold member
      January 4

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you sweetie. I'm really glad you liked it. My feet are gettng wet.

1 - 43 of 43