Solitude

I don't like to tell you
how many memories I have of us
cause I don't want you thinking
all I don is think about you, cause I do.
You're a big part, a big part of me
but I keep you at a distance,
so you'll never know how much you can hurt me,
then when you leave I can keep my pride
and stay strong strong cause no one will know
how bad I hurt inside because you're gone.
I keep my heart locked in a cage
even when my best friends are around,
so I can see and be seen
but never be touched
and never be hurt.
In my mouth, my tongue cradles a murder/suicide
the words I hold in them could end us
could be the end of my dignity.
The three words that mean losing everything,
my pride, my strength, my everything that holds me together
and keeps me almost sane.
The three words fight to escape
out of death grip of a hold I keep on my loose lips,
but I'm too careful for such mistakes.
That's why my heart is locked in a cage
even to you,
a prisoner my fear of pain has made me
locked away in a one cell room.