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They Still Watch

I’ve forgotten all those
who simply made fun.
Who now wonder how I did
what “couldn’t be done.”

Author notes

Kevin Pace - WordsDoMatter

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Walk-Free
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    whoah. the rhyme here was brilliant

    you do have a talent for rhyme!

    you went broader with this picture, which I liked.

    thanks and all the best


    • WordsDoMatter
      January 9
      Edit | Reply

      rhyme

      is all I do... tried the other stuff... nope, I love the challenge of rhyming, it's like a puzzle. thanks for reading - Kevin

  • montez gold member
    January 5
    Edit | Reply

    Also..

    ...drop "now" in 3rd line to perfect flow IMO.
    R.

  • montez gold member
    January 5

    Edit | Reply

    Well Kevin....

    ......I wonder what it was that you did that "couldn't be done." I wish you'd expanded : you leave me intrigued!
    I've had a lifetime of not being able to do things that most other people found easy.
    Actually, that's not entirely true, I do have some talent ; I can "put things off" better than anyone else in the world!
    An unusual little piece, but I like it nonetheless.
    However, I can't leave without making one little criticism - just to be bloody-minded.
    I think the full stop after fun is not only unnecessary, but grammatically incorrect. The whole poem is one sentence.
    Kind regards,
    Robin.
    PS Don't you just HATE pedantic bastards like me?