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Way of the World

I want to talk to worms
and learn the ways of dirt,
the way it covers bones and
conceals bleached eyes - long since removed
from the sun.

I want to talk to ravens
and learn the ways of the sky,
the emptiness, full of nothing
more than cold, bitter words
sprayed against aged children

I want to talk to humans
and learn how to die best.

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    Love the image 'bleached eyes'.

    And your last stanza is perfect.


  • shirk
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    Your ending was powerful and the personification is rad, but idk.

    If it were me, I would put birds instead of ravens because ravens and crows are waaay too over-used in my opinion.

    I think that you should develop the sky stanza a little more too.

    The first stanza is my favorite


  • Black Narcissus gold member
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    I want to talk to humans
    and learn how to die best.


    Brilliant.