To the tune of "A Modern Major General," from "The Pirates of Penzance," music by Arthur Sullivan
I'm an Artemisian Herald; we have duties multitudinous
But handle them with style in a manner fortitudinous.
Announcements that we give are always clear, concise and audible.
We blazon all devices with facility that's laudable.
We've memorized the precedence for peerage and nobility;
Processionals we run are noted for their punctuality.
We read the various scrolls aloud with obvious sincerity--
And manage to pronounce the wildest names with great dexterity!
And so, good lords and ladies, see how one with my capacity
Must study hard and practice long with zeal and tenacity.
For heraldry or ceremony, tourney or processional
The Artemisian heralds have a style that's most professional.
Yet I can think of no job more maligned in the Society
Because of one small practice that has gained us notoriety--
We ease the pressure caused by our heraldic duties numerous
By telling brilliant puns which to our own ears sound quite humorous.
And though these puns provide release to make our lives more liveable
It seems that those around us find the practice unforgivable.
And so they do forget the heralds' qualities most sensible
And fasten their attention on those they find reprehensible.
But even though the populace our humor can't appreciate
They couldn't get along without a herald to officiate.
And so, at court or ceremony, tourney or processional
The Artemisian heralds tell their puns with style professional.
Words copyright (c) 1979 by Julia H. West
Author notes
Originally written as "An Outlands Herald." When I wrote this, I was White Stag Herald to the Principality of the Outlands in the Kingdom of Atenveldt. As the SCA groups grew bigger and split, Loch Salann (the group I live in) became part of the Principality of Artemisia, which then became the Kingdom of Artemisia. So I had to change the song to reflect my current kingdom.
The crossed gold trumpets on the green background is the SCA symbol for the herald. Heralds (at least back when I wrote this song) had a reputation for being punsters. The song lists the heralds' various jobs within the Society for Creative Anachronism.
Three-syllable rhymes are difficult but fun. I think I did a better job than William S. Gilbert, who wrote the original lyrics to this song, did. 
I mean really, "sat a gee"? How dumb is that for a rhyme?
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Comments
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Stupid drama teacher who learned me the wrong tune! (that terrible grammar was intentional) Seriously though, I look at your songs, especially ones like this with complicated meter and rhyme and wonderful wordage and ask you why you think you're not a poet.
Bah to your semantics on poems and songs!
And I give you three clappies!
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