Visually you were here,
Though, your heart was over there.
A voice that was always heard,
Yet, no ears to listen.
When you gave nothing,
And took so much.
It must have been the drugs,
That made you so cruel!
Man, do I feel a fool,
Believing all your lies.
Loving you like no other,
Yet, I felt more like your mother.
Now that I'm broke,
You think this is some joke.
I'm here to say,
It's time to forgive and forget!
Forgive myself,
For being stupid.
Forget you,
That you ever existed!
A contest entry
- Speak by Pensively Ignorant.
850 points, ended January 31, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'm new at this, I hope you like this!
Comments
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Pretty good!
Great start for a new writer! You are a little off with rhyming but it's ok, there was a small pattern going on that was very nice.
This was easy to relate to for me because I have dated someone with drug problems before, which is why the last stanza is especially powerful. I am glad that you realized that it was a waste to concern yourself over this person's issues if they are going to waste their time of drugs. I also hope that, since it wasn't addressed in the poem, you do not blame yourself for their faults.
There seems a lot more that can be take out of this then is revealed, i.e., feeling more like the mother then the lover kind of thing. I like it though.
Overall, very nice job. Thank you for the entry.
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tihs iz nice
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