one.
i like crashing into him because we always have the random laughter that will always break my fall.
i need you
written words mask my emotions but his touches reveal everything
why is this so hard?
two.
i speak in fairytales and he sees through the eyes of superheroes and together we make animation that only exists in the minds of little girls with starry eyes and little boys with sly smiles
rescue me
three.
i'm awkward, and uncoordinated. i think its because i'm scared i'll leave behind secret covered bones and a plexi glass heart to let him know that in the end i would rather love him any day.
say you do too.
four.
rock me in your arms and stop the crystal raindrops from falling like confetti from my eyes. whisper words of velvet in my ear and tell i'm crazy for crying to begin with; but instead he tells me i'm too beautiful to cry.
even the most beautiful of things cry
five.
i can never help myself anymore. i'm an emotional wreck when i'm not around him. and i'm so scared that he is grounding me into imperfect chalk crystals and i'm letting him. but then he stares me down with his beautiful pepsi-coloured eyes, and i find myself again.
he says he loves me, and i need to believe.
you're not allowed to love me
haven't you heard, loving me comes with a warning label.
Author notes
i hope you like it.
its actually a journal entry...but to me it seemed to fit the title and if it doesn't well oops
dani-elle
A contest entry
- Lucky Dip Titles PIF by stargazer..
800 points, ended February 23, 2009, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bored Enter!!!!! Need to Read Something!!!!! by goingnowherefast.
700 points, ended January 8, 2009, 126 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 2009, 359 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the catharsis rounds; auditions. by aanika.
1800 points, ended February 10, 2009, 39 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 2009, 981 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I was his.
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Hey there,
I like this journal entry - it's the type that I'd love to come across in livejournal and to pause and to read - very well written,
I liked especially the way in which you took us through the various stages of life - very descriptive, and visually active!
Thanks for entering
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yes.
thanks for entering. -
yes.
Please wait for the other judges comment. -
OH no, I copied and pasted the wrong thing for the first three lines of my comment.
That's for my other contest, SOORRRRYY.
What I meant:
This is my personal comment for the catharsis rounds.
Upon the closing of the contest, I will comment back with a 'yes' or 'no.'
HAHA sorry.
This contest doesn't close in two days.
-dumb.-
Forgot the clappies, too.
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Hi!
There's only 2 days left for this contest, just wanted to remind you.
Hope you finish this!
That being said,
I love this.
Everything is so gorgeous, and unique, to top it off.
I don't have a favorite part.
The only thing I'd say was I'd like to see grammar on parts like "I need you" and such.
It adds more emphasis, in my opinion.
I loved this.
I'll be back. -
oh my god.
i LOVED this.
i like crashing into him because we always have the random laughter that will always break my fall.
i speak in fairytales and he sees through the eyes of superheroes and together we make animation that only exists in the minds of little girls with starry eyes and little boys with sly smiles
seriously.
wow.
I think this is one of my favourite poems that I've read on this site.
and that's saying a lot.
thanks for entering
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this is beautiful.
i especially like the last three lines.
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oh wow i liked it a lot i can see what you are trying to say
im kinda having the same issue but not really
good work -
That was a really neat way of expressing your feelings! The title is very creative too. I really like the stanza that comes after two. I like your use of words and the imagery you convey through this piece as well. Nice write!!
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^_^ thanks alot of people like that one it seems. woo did something right.
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I just love the way you think
its so real
he says he loves me, and i need to believe.
that really stopped me cold, when a guy says it and it confirms what you desire its so hard to even try to question it and that can throw us off balance and see what we want to see. superb
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oo i thought i thought..awkward lol but i guess not ^_^
my friend actually made me question the love of a guy who recently said he loved me...which is where that line came from
thanks for reading it ^_^
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Thank you for entering my contest!!
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thisis a beautiful peice of writing your imagery is beautiful thankyou for sharing good luck inthe contestmaralisa
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^_^ thanks for the luck. and the wonderful comment
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That's soooo lovely...
Enter it in my contest (my second)!!
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Your title is "Girls Dont Belong In Neverland"
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
