the search party is exhausted
a kentucky sky sets
past the tree she swings on
rope and board
back and forth
against the wind's hand
she says 'i might write today
if i can find a word
or maybe two
that could anchor his heart-
keep it home,
keep it close enough
to touch'
turbulence has settled
the dust of drought stirs
from swollen routine
lethargic it begins to swarm-
laughs in the face of imagination
she swings forward one last time
as hard as legs can force
and jumps.
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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the pendulant language, the rocking title, the swing, back and forth makes me think of the motions of the planets, of bodies in motion attractive forces like the people drawn together by the gravity of affection. the 'search party' i don't understand i the context of the following stanzas, but do appreciate the final 'jump' at the end there. well done. take care. -silverfish
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Very well done, my dear friend
Excellent arrangement of verse; I much enjoyed
A pleasure to come here after a long hiatus and read your poetry
Wishing you light and love,
Sandy aka Heavenly Angel -
I wanna jump.
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I say "I might write today...everyday!!" ha! You are as bad as me...changing and revisiting...leave it be, I love it, awesome work
~Tia
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she says 'i might write today
if i can find a word
or maybe two
that could anchor his heart-
keep it home,
keep it close enough
to touch'
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I have felt like this so many times, about writing, especially when it comes to writing people.
lovely poem. really lovely.
<3
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so many words that escape me i find it difficult at times to write this has touched on a memory keep doing well
love the rev papa
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This is wonderful. Such a great piece here. I love your style.
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wow i took that ending in so many different directions, im diggin it. I always have loved your brand of story-poetry, you always keep it in poetic form.
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He's Joined The Search Party?
MAYBE I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED, BUT HERE'S A SENSE OF HOW I READ THE MEANING(I QUOTED EXCERPTS JUST TO SHOW WHERE I'D PUT AN INSERTION):
the search party is exhausted
a kentucky sky sets...
...that could anchor his heart-
keep it home,
keep it close enough
to touch'
HE'S JOINED THE SEARCH PARTY, AND
WITH DUST IN HIS EYES HE CRIES...
WOULD WELCOME A ROUTINE WITH HER,
IF SHE'D BE FOUND
SWOLLEN ROUTINE
HAS TURNED TO DUST,
turbulence has settled
drought stirs
lethargic LOCUSTS begin to swarm-
SHE laughs in the face of IT
she swings forward one last time
as hard as legs can force
and jumps.
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i really liked the stanza about writing if she finds the words. the whole piece as nice. can't really tell where it would need to be revised. i think it is perfect as is.
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"The search party is exhausted" is an intense indicator of someone lost in something like a snow storm. I like the "swollen routine", but I think the "dust" metaphor doesn't fit. The search party thing is making me think lost in a snow storm. "Laughs in the face of imagination" fits in any scenario. Something needs to be added to fit with the "search party".
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ooh, I hope this is the first of many more poems
I can relate to this...'swollen routine'. Sometimes it's so hard to balance life and writing. Wonderful penning!
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thoughts sometimes make me suddenly jump
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this is wonderful, what a build-up to that excellent ending..love this this makes me think of moving forward...
[typo, begans to begins?]
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DAMN! Was this building up inside? The flow of this..the words yank at you..it's like some ultra-powerful amusement ride of emotion and time!! I think this is the best thing I've seen you offer to the poppets in a very long time!! It's beautiful and alive! Well Done!! Bravoooo..!! You really should collect a book of your best! Peace!!
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