We met during a trip to the mall
during an accidental encounter,
bumping into her
when she was leaving a dress store.
Eyes engaged in sudden flare,
heart racing from her beauty,
voice of a siren and an angel’s face,
body so voluptuous,
falling over my words,
stunned by her elegance.
Shocked when she accepted lunch offer,
incredibly plummeting so easily deep in her eyes,
like a whirlwind our hearts soared,
going from small talk to sharing the past,
amazed how are lives had so much in common.
Love I thought I had found,
convinced this was destiny,
utterly entranced by the days we grew so close,
completely sure she was my future.
Then one eve sitting in her apartment
while she went to fetch some coffee,
I noticed a college yearbook in the bookcase
nearly buried under some magazines,
as if she had forgotten it was there,
took a peek inside,
was then I learned what is left unspoken
can build an unexpected wall to romance’s future,
after discovering my darling Francis,
had been the Quarterback
before a sex change operation.
Author notes
Your prompt: obstacles to love
A contest entry
- Morning Quickie - 10 entries by sideways hourglass.
400 points, ended January 3, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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lol, that sure would be an obstacle to love, thanks for the chuckle.
congrats on the trophy. -
lol... golden material! this was so hilarious!!
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mechanical errors i noticed:
"bumping in her" - shouldn't that be "bumping into her" ?
"like a whirlwinds our hearts soared" - either take out the a, or take out the 's' in whirlwinds.
"Then one eve sitting her in apartment" - you had a dyslexic moment and mixed up the 'her' and 'in'.
Don't worry, I'm not holding those errors against you. I knew what you meant, so nothing to worry about.
It kind of bugs me though...that three people read this poem but didn't even give you a heads up about the errors. -shrug- Maybe they forgot.
Anyway, I really did enjoy this! This was hilarious.
But one thing: this didn't really seem like a poem to me, more like prose. I would have written it in prose format, considering this was more like a story.
Regardless though, this is fantastic. It made me laugh out loud - and my parents were looking at me weird. Haha.
Thank you for entering.
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You lately are on a roll of humor...Delightfully, uplifting at this time of year....Whoops!
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say it isn't true! lol
What a fun read. Still smiling.
Love, Lane -
Bubs,
What an unexpected turn in the end! But you know, this reminded me of my aunt, and well, I still have to say the same thing, even though she used to be my uncle, I still love her, for what she is inside...
I know there are some that can not see past that, but I like to think I can. I will always love Aunt Rachel no matter what!
You did a great job showing how some can't see past the past, while others remember to look to the future.
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nyetta
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