Your words had pierced his heart like knives
And cut through those scars once more—
The ones that he had tried to mend
Another time, before...
You thought every thing he did was wrong;
You brought that straight to his face,
Never knowing that all along
His mind was right in place.
Every time you spoke to him,
The cruelty he kept inside,
Wondering why you never believed in him,
His face he sought to hide.
Why is it you're so unfair?
I feel the blow you dealt him
Had made him feel so bare.
...The light you both once shared
Already grown so dim...
When he and I were kids,
We thought your love would always last.
Yet, now we know we have to bid
That sorrow truth as past.
He's got feelings, too, you know.
He's not perfect, he's just right.
One day when away he'll go,
You'll miss him day and night.
So, why don't you think it over,
What he had done “to” you.
I think you ought to remember
That he's human, too.
Author notes
This is a dedication; written January 3, 2009.
Other entries:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5094921
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4896307
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4896291
A contest entry
- Do you have emotions? by Forgotten Anomaly.
550 points, ended October 27, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP Family...Im looking for you :o by DeadlyPoetic88.
900 points, ended March 12, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST: Family For Dragonbabyx3-CLOSING VERY SOON! by Jeremy0826.
1700 points, ended March 26, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For your best PW! by Reanna Eryn.
550 points, ended March 16, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one; your best prewrite. by August Starlight.
765 points, ended March 21, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Anything And Everything~ by Captain Jenny.
1030 points, ended April 1, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dying Is The Latest Fasion by SoundsOfSilence.
800 points, ended April 5, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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this is so beautiful that all words of praise would be understatement.....i have witnessed a similar situation and also written about it ... (check it out if you like named "True Love") but its nowhere near yours.... this is simply spellbinding ;*)
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Love the flow to this. amazing write.
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Speechless
Very well worded and flows. I am guilty of this so I can relate all too well. Yes with the same end result.
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This is amazing. It has left me speechless... Thanks for entering
~Lae -
this is a really pretty poem i really like it and i agree with you too. i think you should have won more tropieson it too!! lol good luck in the next round
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This is beautiful and so true. I agree with every word you said. Thank you for entering and good luck!
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Good write
People don't think about the things they say to each other. It seems that parents, most especially, are guilty of not thinking about the impact of their words on their children or the damage those word can do. I have a piece that deals with much the same subject. (Sharp Tongues)
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WOW!
great job! i l♥ve it! it is a masterpiece!
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Good job! I can feel the emotions in this poem. This is so beautiful. I'm so tempted to add this to the finalists list.
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good job! your emotions in this poem are very evident. i'm surprised this piece hasn't won something yet....
well i'll give you some yellow clapping things anyways
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Thank you!
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This is wonderfully written and a great reminder to al of us that no one is perfect in this life. We all make mistakes and sometimes it takes a while before we can forgive and forget. But, it's always great to forgive in order to maintain a peaceful relationship in the end! Beautiful work here and thanks for taking the time to enter this one. We appreciate it and wish you all the best with it here!
Jeremy0826
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Beautiful, touching, and terribly sad. This was well written, and fueled with so much emotion, It made me want to cry! A beautiful write!
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This is very well written and the emotions in this poem fueled me as I read. Great job. Good luck in all your contests.
-deadly -
I want to e-mail this to my father now... this sums up the relationship between him and my father perfectly, I hate my father. This is very emotional, wonderfully writen, and really hit the places with me. Its so true. I wish you and him the best of luck, thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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this is amazing way to make it flow so well
love forever and always
Ciara Ann -
It's nice, I like how the tittle fits the poem so much
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This is a very emotional piece that really tugs at the emotions. The rhyme and rythem are great,
Why is it you're so unfair?
I feel the blow you dealt him
Had made him feel so bare.
Great descriptives too.
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So, why don't you think it over,
What he had done “to” you.
I think you ought to remember
That he's human, too.
very relatable piece. it was a good read. thanks for sharing.
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Very nicley written!
~Chelsey
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this is a very well written piece and i think it conveys a message i think we can all get down with. FORGIVE YOUR FELLOW MAN
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"Your words had pierced his heart like knives
And cut through those scars once more—
The ones that he had tried to mend
Another time, before..."
i love this part
your rhyme is really good...
it has a good, comfortable flow. :]
good job!
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this one is interesting.... it kind of makes me think of a mother and her son.......
"Your words had pierced his heart like knives
And cut through those scars once more—
The ones that he had tried to mend
Another time, before..."
my fav part^^^
this poem was really good. :]
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This write is very true about our human world we have here.. We don't think about what we say to each other.. I love the imagery, and feeling that was penned into this write!! Thank you soo much for this great piece!!
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Great job!! I like how you worded it. And quite true too, that sometimes we say horrible things to another, yet not sparing just a second to think about how the person might be feeling.
He's got feelings, too, you know.
He's not perfect, he's just right.
One day when away he'll go,
You'll miss him day and night.
This i can relate
So, why don't you think it over,
What he had done “to” you.
I think you ought to remember
That he's human, too.
I think this ended the whole thing pretty well
Keep writing ya!! Cheers!!
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"When he and I were kids,
We thought your love would always last.
Yet, now we know we have to bid
That sorrow truth as past."
I liked those lines
I enjoyed the whole concept really that sometimes we forget that some people have feelings too and if we don;t start treating humans like humans then we might as well be animals.
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Wow Adelaine, I'm impressed by this...
I love the rhyming and the flow...it puts out a feeling of story to it. And this is definately a story.
At first I thought this was about Jesus...it really seemed to me like the person you wrote about was someone who was put down, hurt, and maybe even tortured just for being who they were. Then I read the line about "When he and I were kids" and saw the dedication at the bottom...then I knew what was going on.
But anyways, this was really good.
Welcome to AP, my dear pet
Always,
Emily (aka Vhoori) 
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