I've let you down so badly,
In so many more ways than one,
The thought that you were hurt too,
That you were part of their 'fun'.
It breaks me, it destroys me,
You were so young, so kind, so sweet,
And they took your life, your childhood,
Yet how could our paths not meet?
I thought that you were different,
That you were loved, the gifted one,
That you were born a 'good child'
I'm so sorry what have i done.
They used to sit and play games,
with you while i was locked away,
Thay said that i was the bad one,
And thats how it would always stay.
They said that i had to be punished,
Because i was bad, was not like you,
Yet they were hurting you at the same time,
And there was nothing i could do.
How could i not have known?
Seen the signs, opened my eyes,
I was just so rapped up in my own shit,
I couldnt hear your silent cries.
I was so selfish, thought it was just me,
Never believed they would hurt you,
And for all those years you kept quiet,
About what ever you went through.
I should have looked, and seen it,
But because of all they told me,
They said that i was the bad one,
And no bad in you i could see.
So there was no reason to hurt you,
You didnt need punishing, or making good,
If only i had known,
Maybe we'd be more understood.
Cos although we are so different,
Our behaviours mimic the same,
We are both acting out our hurt heart,
Trying to break out of our brain.
How can you ever forgive me,
Please i didnt know, i never new,
But if i had, id have stopped them,
Made them hurt me more, and not hurt you.
Author notes
This poem is to my brother. He for the first time disclosed that he was sexually abused by my granparents too :'( i never realised or new that it was happening to him too, now i dont know how i will ever be able to forgive myself. :'(
A contest entry
- Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Dark Dark by xXLifelessLindseyxX.
700 points, ended February 24, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, dark, and even darker by Luciferschild.
600 points, ended February 24, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I hope this doesnt trigger anything for any one. Please leave me a comment, good, bad, what ever you feel. Just please be a little sensative as they are all true stories about my life so far x
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Sorry, i didn't start remembering BECAUSE of this, sorry. I've recently been remembering, is what I meant.
-
Oh god... I just started having these memories that maybe my brother was included in my sexual abuse... Wow, this kinda freaked me out a little. I love it, really I do... Just wow.
-
both of the poems you entered were good but i have to say the last one i read was alot more intense and powerful. thank you for entering and good luck
-
This is truely heartbreaking. You have a few minor spelling errors, but by far it is a really touching and heartbreaking write. Thanks for entering.
-
This was heartbreaking ... the one that moved me the most out of the three poems of yours that I have read now -
That last verse,
"How can you ever forgive me,
Please i didnt know, i never new,
But if i had, id have stopped them,
Made them hurt me more, and not hurt you."
was particularly heartbreaking - I could feel how much this came from the heart - and while reading, I think EVERY reader would be longing to be able to do something, to help out, to STOP the pain ...
thank you for entering
-
They told you that you were bad and he wasn't so that you would think it was only happening to you and not him and so you wouldn't find out about each other... if you had known it put them in more danger of being caught because there was more chance you would've told about what was happening. You're not to blame and surely your brother knows that too. You were hurt just as much as him.
There was no way for you to know, don't beat yourself up about it.
Aside from that this poem is beautiful, you can tell how much you love your brother and again feel all the hurt and guilt you have.
I hope you'll realise you're not to blame in time
x x x -
Its a sickness honey
One that abuses the children and makes them fear them so they can get their way . So sad and yet I often wonder yet know at the same time why they didnt let others outside of the family know of this .For if they had known and if you had known so young you could have been saved way back then . Children so often are doing everything they can for love but they often get the wrong kind of atention . Its not your fault honey for they were working on your mind telling you that you were bad and locking you away so you could not see. Those grand parents today it is never too late to do something about this .People say oh they are getting old but honey they never change they if they are alivve are now after the grand children . You can stop it if they are still here you can stop your Dad in his tracks and have him jailed for the rest of his life and then your life will be free and you can stop fearing what you have feared all these years and learn to live again . Never blame yourself for their doing. Know whenyou become free you will blossom and laughter and love will be brand new and a blessing indeed
-
wow
thats truly amazin -
='[ i know how you feel, i'd really feel like killing someone if anyone hurt my brother and sister cause they'r both younger than me. it'd kill me.
im sorry it happened to your brother too. thats really sad ='[, it really wasnt your fault, you cant blame yourself, although i know why u are...but still your grandad was just a very evil devious kinda person (if you dont mind me sayin)....great poem anyway...love it. luve u darlin xxxxxxxxxxxx -
Wow. I have three little sisters so this really hit home. I don't know how i'd deal if I found out someone had hurt them.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
