Eulogy

Before me
I cannot see.
Light has passed me by.
Ahead of me-
I cannot see…
Do not stand behind me.
Do not stand before me.
My world is small-
I cannot let you in,
I cannot-
I do not feel safe in this place-
I have built walls encircling me…
Do not climb these walls that surround me.
Do not walk before me,
I beg to differ-
You are a threat to me.
My world is small-
Get down upon your knees and
Scream with me.
Open the door a crack
Let in the light-
I can see beams of light severing the pain that
Tears my soul to pieces,
Glass shattered, mirror like-
Refracting.
Darkness and heartrending music has filled t his room with
Abject misery,
Songs of loss, death dirges ringing in my ears,
A celebration of the death of my soul?
Your words, conniving and vindictive,
My life is a nightmarish horror story-
Do not stand behind me,
Do not,
Do not stand before me-
Get down upon your knees,
Do not break down the walls that
Encircle me…
Blood cascades from the sky,
Glass shattered, mirror-like,
Kaleidoscopic, horrific
Moribund…
I cannot fathom reality?
Rescue me,
I can still sing and I can dance-
I can do so many things,
I can.
Do
So
Many
Things…
Although
I cannot connect the pain, and the sorrow within
My heart that bleeds profusely, and
My brain,
Filled with cotton, snakes and worms
Permeating my soul, spirit and the very essence of me.
I do not trust,
Get down upon your knees,
Scream with me,
Open the door to my heart and
Let the light enter-
Beams of light that scintillate madness?
I can sing and dance,
I can walk for miles and
Walk backwards in time-
I an do so many things-
I can play games with the light-
I can hold in my hands the rays of the sun-
I can bend the light exuded by the moon of which
I have captured and placed in a vault,
Padlocked and keyed-
Although-
I can still sing and dance,
I can walk for miles uphill and down-
I can do so many things- although-
I cannot speak,
I live in fear-
This is my life.
This is my life-
Glass shattered, mirror like –
Kaleidoscopic, spintharoscopic…atoms spliced in time.
I can dance and I can sing
I can do so many things.
I can read shadows in the shattered glass, –
I see your shadow disappear into the mist- I weep-
You are not real…

Claudia Krizay