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...

she's shallow so she says


and I seem distant
like a far cry
juxtaposed alongside
tears that touch

and mold

me in my mannerisms

 

like Picasso

pounding play-dough

while he roams the streets

where long lost life forms

born of brevity and bust rejoice

 

and then I kiss her

while she sadly whispers

words

 

I can not breathe

 

 

Author notes

prompt~

"a pair of legs
where there
was
no water to be found."

inspiration: dusted feet, red violence up

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • notorious gold member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    Did you think you were being clever when you chose the ellipsis as a title? <==that sounds accusative, but it's not.
    Because, I don't give a shit.

    'juxtaposed'
    Love your use of it.
    That word is groovy and hard to fit in w/o sounding like a jackass.

    "that touch
    and mold
    me in my mannerisms"
    Yessssssssssssssss

    ;
    Jessica


    • sheltered
      January 16
      Edit | Reply
      wasn't really trying to be clever
      it was just the rare occasion
      that i thought it would work in many ways for the title
      and thanks


  • Cannonsfire
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I think this might be a new fav of yours, I love the final lines.

    'an extremity of touch in willow bends
    reaches wetness before it ends
    i drown in you' C


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Love it!


  • autarky
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    something about the first two stanzas made me wholly fall in love with your writing


  • DolceVito gold member
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    Another awesome write...I like the title, "Ellipsis," that should go over well with Jessica.


  • Dalaney gold member
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    wow. another one. another poem that
    makes me rub my eyes and think, "quivered
    liver and brilliant brain" Obviously, I like
    this. Love, Lane


  • vaguelyfamiliar
    January 3

    Edit | Reply

    superbly kick ass

    Okay, I have to say, the preview to this does not in any way prepare you for the awesomeness that is this piece.

    You are so much about sound. I love alliteration and you do it so well.

    It is almost abstract, but not quite. It is almost melancholy, but not quite.

    Jesus Christ, there goes my crown....

1 - 11 of 11