Show mercy this repentant heart,
I implore God's angels up above.
I wait for Heaven to do her part,
And help my fleeting faith improve.
I search for you in every face,
Show mercy this repentant heart.
She's gone too long without the place
For Eros to fire his honeyed dart.
The night is long and won't impart
Grace from dreams of your caress.
Show mercy this repentent heart,
That once inclined you to possess.
When will ransomed love embrace,
The long awaited dance to start?
When will I meet you face to face?
Show mercy this repentant heart.
Author notes
Blancetnoir
A contest entry
- Love Poems/Heart Break/Wanting Love/Lost Love by gigglesalot.
900 points, ended January 12, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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You're doing really well with your embracing of form - this quatern works beautifully, and I enjoy not knowing if you are speaking of a person, or of god, so for me it reads like the Sufi love poems.
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A beautiful piece of love poetry. The imagery and feelings emerge well from your words...Excellent...Keep rhyming...mal
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i think the rhyme is a little forced in certain parts of the poem. prolly more so in the beginning. the last 4 lines in the end i really liked though. prolly the best part of all. =]
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clever with that one line...
and it works! the rhyme didnt feel forced but more like a story and that is what i liked the most
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Thanks, Heidi.
I have to say, I never get tired of looking at your cat's face. I had a siamese when I was a kid. Big old blue eyes. reminds me...
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no way. did i just stumble into someone who can actually write rhyme well? ill echo up that clever comment. best of luck to you.
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I've always preferred free verse and feel more comfy with it, but am trying some rhyme. Thanks for your feedback.
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can you please put your AP name? thanks =]
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whoops, sorry. It's there now.
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I can't say enough about how clever it was of you to move that line down like that, this is a grand poem, good luck in the contest.
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Thank you very much, I really appreciate your feedback.. the moving line I can't take credit for, it's a form called...Quatern, although, I think it varies from the style in the number of syllables in each line. I am usually a freeverser but am learning a little about rhyme. (Tough stuff.)
I will look at poems of yours, though unfortunately not right now, as I am running late. Would you like me to read a particular one of yours?
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