Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Haiku 172

new year's day has passed
resolutions already
broken sans regret

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Amergin
    January 20
    Edit | Reply
    I had to look up sans, didn't know what it meant. I love how relatable this haiku is, good luck!


  • Harrisham Minhas
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for your entry:

    "new year's day has passed
    resolutions already
    broken sans regret"


    This is a nice one. I am sure many people can relate to this.

    Thanks again.

    Harrisham Minhas


    • Shenton silver member
      January 17
      Edit | Reply

      Harrisham Minhas

      Thankyou for your comments and for your very generous applause.
      Best wishes from 'down-under'.
      Shenton


  • Sai Babas Lotus
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Hi! This poem tells the reader what happened rather than showing the reader. A good haiku must 'show' rather than 'tell'. L1 is a complete statement and is telling something. L1, L2 and L3 reveal it is in 'past tense'. This needs some tweaking.

    Let's try it out...

    evaporated whisky -
    the new year resolutions
    in my gut



    Charishma

    • Shenton silver member
      January 17
      Edit | Reply

      Charishma

      Methinks you do presume too much; I don't drink whisky!
      But I can offer you my best wishes for this New Year.

      Shenton

1 - 5 of 5