Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

now known as syntax

let's fill ourselves with
the signs of the times
let's shout our praise
to our patrons below
let's sing the hymns
from our bibles stuffed with money
let the sexy people show

-how deep does this sickness go

buying hearts at discount prices
-rejecting your fetal vices

knock down demons
-slam the night stand
bought a weight while
fucking your mind

-where at mah thrill
-mah grill
-mah bill
-mah flame down here
-my fame down here

let's fill ourselves with
your pagan prodigy
let's shout our praise
to the angels below
let's sing the hymns
from our minds stuffed with wolfies
let the sexy people show

-how deep does this sickness go

buying hearts at discount prices
-rejecting your fetal vices

knock down demons
-slam the night stand
bought a weight while
fucking your mind

-where at mah thrill
-mah grill
-mah bill
-mah flame down here
-my fame down here

Author notes

firecrotch
-yeah firecrotch oh firecrotch
what if i show my tits

sadly i don't have them so it doesn't matter. God saw fit to give me increadible pecs.
as usual baylee is singing the - and i'm singing the blanks

i had an idea. the opening album will have no title. it will not be self titled, it will not be called untitled, it will not be a - _ * or '.' (for those who don't understand the two line preview box's syntax -you know who the f'k you are)

that's my excuse for not titleing the song

after a hiatus in rome

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • ShInE45DoWn
    January 4, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    How about we just call our album syntax.


    • Mr Majenta gold member
      January 4, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      we'll rerelease it with a title, that's like... double platinum

  • ShInE45DoWn
    January 4, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    yessssssssss. <3


  • quaneefah
    January 2, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    I get a sense of deep and dark the flow is poetic. The first stanza grabs you. do not understand bought a weight while
    fucking your mind I could go many places with this but I would like your meaning. Overall thought provoking interestesting. Which season are you filling your spirit with? Thank you for sharing. keep penning. Peace and blessings.


    • Mr Majenta gold member
      January 3, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      weight is a burden. lies are a burden on your mind.this song is all about lies and vanity, so it's just a two line recap of the whole piece.

      as far as the spirit of the season goes, i actually changed it. i couldn't come up with anything better, and i needed to get on with writing the rest of it.

      thanks for the critique

      -Maj


  • Mr Majenta gold member
    January 2, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    i love how sometimes i completely avoid swearing, while other times i say fuck it and fly free

1 - 6 of 6