We live our lives enriched in the light,
Having all our past mistakes behind us, yet in plain sight.
We use our eyes, instead of our barren minds,
but what would happen if we were to cross that line?
To live in the shadows, in so many ways,
they talk to us, tickle our spirit, set our minds ablaze.
Cloaked by the darkness, no past,no future,no present.
Stealing away all it is that we humans will ever resent.
Whisper sweet nothings into the ear of the damned
our dreams come to life, as consciousness is jammed
And what if we were to live in the shadow of another?
watching, learning from the mysteries that THEY uncover.
A sweet glow of nothing, no pain, yet no hope,
a blissfull place where we all should elope?
It tells us who we are, what we want, what we crave,
Uncovers all personal secrets, that we shall take to the grave
So at least once in your life, there is a place you should go,
A dreamland world of darkness, where nothing is known.
Before you go out with that bang, stop the ticking of the bomb.
Delve into the shadows, believe, in their immortal wisdom.
Author notes
it's pretty much about being in the dark about life, or to stop all feeling, to go into a deep meditation and uncover yourself.
A contest entry
- Dark and/or Love poetry contest, posted from Korea! (ROK) by Akarian.
950 points, ended January 20, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR by Swan song.
1300 points, ended January 16, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Thought that this was well written, and for once, I seem to have found a poem, which at least for me, didn't sound incredibly forced in the rhyming.
The bright pink background sort of took from the poem though I felt ...
Thanks for etnering
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Very well composed and a deep feel to the poem!!!!
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Well, what I would say is stick with rhyming or dont rhyme at all. The changing makes it jump around too much. Other that , I like it.
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it's a AABBCCDD rhyme scheme, admitedly, a couple of them are half rhymes, but it does work if you read it properly
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Some of the rhymes are streatched, so I didn't noticie it my first time though. I don't see it in the last verse, but I do in the rest. You have successfully proved me wrong. =P
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go and known is kinda half rhyme, might not ryhme but it still works, bomb and wisdom do rhyme, if you change the way you would normally pronounce wisdom, bit of a stretch lol, but i think it works ok, at least it's not all forced rhyme
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hah, this is true. Forced rhyme does piss me off quite a lot. Bomb and wisdom seem like quite a stretch, atleast for how us americans pronounce wisdom.
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haha, well as the queens english, in the standard, jumped up englishman accent(that noone but the royal family talk like) it does work lol
so it is a legitimate rhyme in that sense lol
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I think Imma have to hear how this sounds, bomb and wisdom just seem to far apart for me. But I'll take your word for it. =P
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haha fair enuff, and admitedly, i've never actually heard the queen say bomb, or wisdom....so it's a guess really, bit of a long shot, but i don't think it makes that much of a difference either way lol
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Either way, you've made me smile today, and I deffinatly did not expect to. So thank you =)
That would be interesting to hear the queen say "Bomb." I'd wonder what context it would be under...
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