one
feather
left my heart
burning for you
into the rapture
that swept me with your smile
wanting our one slow embrace
as stars aligned above sparkling
your eyes dancing one vision above
and with a whisper you sent me reeling
floating above clouds you circled closer
believing in one promise embrace
one rare find that is your real love
leaving me content within
from only your touches
tracing always near
upon your eyes
one love smile
lasting
trace
Author notes
I used 11 words in Love/Sensual
A contest entry
- It's Etheree Time (contest) by Paloszoo.
900 points, ended January 17, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I like it no matter what anyone says.
Im not one to get too technical when it comes to reading, the emotions contained within mean more to me as a whole. I think you've created a love poem here that's soft, sweet, and beautiful.
Congratulations, whether you win or not, I still say it's a winner.
Love,
jin
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First, I say sparkling can be pronounced with 2 or 3 syllables, depending on how you say it (or need it in an etheree - hehehe), so it's fitting here. Now, onto your fine and beautiful piece. The aethetics are off quite a bit. You started really getting into the design towards the end, then threw it off with the third to the last line. The subject matter, itself, is beautiful, and it was a most enjoyable read! Great job! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you show your work here!
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Beautiful and very sensual...breathtaking poetry. I love it!
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You're in great shape
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Lovely poem, I like the use of enjambment in the last 5 lines, it gives the poem a great flow. I'm starting to wish I did a double etheree too!
I'm not sure how many syllables are in sparkling though, two or three?
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i thought there were only two syllables?...lol...I just checked it..I see only two?..what do you think?
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