my hand is clawing and you are
sitting in the puddles that i have
created with my eyes and my tongue that
slides out of my stomach like the loch ness
and i am drinking up your breath like rain
and it is satisfying in the way that i want to
slide my fingers under your skin and
play with what i find.
the prodding continues, feet that mark the
end of the world and i am closing and opening
my mouth so that you can hear what i am
feeling and i watch as the girl next door gets
up and stands on her roof and then she just moves
her legs and she goes down down and i am laughing
because it is the best thing that i have seen in so
long.
i just want everything to make sense again
if it's too much to ask can you please just tell
that girl to talk to God for me and say that i'm
really really sorry because i'm ridiculous and i'm
a fake and i'm a hypocrite and i lie and i make mistakes
and i really don't want to, but yet i do want to start
making better choices and not falling apart everytime
the radio changes to one of those stupid songs and i
just stare out the window because i'm so
typical.
the edge of the world is blue and i am yellow like
the sun or perhaps just something that i am wishing is a sun.
i am a lighter leash and a cabinet door, opening, closing,
i don't know.
sometimes when i shut my eyes too tight i can see the lines
on the back of my eyelids making shapes and it scares me
but i keep doing it because i know that things are always
worse when my eyes are
open.
i miss last year.
Author notes
tinkerbell-or-me
:]
so. i didn't write this for your contest.
and i don't know if i really used poetic devices
or what i did.
but i can't write lately and i wrote this a little while ago
it's my first attempt at writing in like 2 months.
you may remove, if you want.
cause i'm admitting that i hate it and it sucks.
:] but i entered for youuu!<3
A contest entry
- it's been a year. by aanika.
6011 points, ended January 30, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
humorous.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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i'm sort of speechless. you shouldn't hate it because it is anything but sucky. i'm favoriting you.
you're very, very talented.
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thank you so much. ♥
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nd i am drinking up your breath like rain
and it is satisfying in the way that i want to
slide my fingers under your skin and
play with what i find.
I love that.
I really do.
but yet i do want to start
making better choices and not falling apart everytime
the radio changes to one of those stupid songs and i
just stare out the window because i'm so
typical.
also that.
this is so chaotic that it makes me want to cry.
in the best way possible.
thanks for entering.
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O:
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wonderful. i love the chaos i feel went i read this.
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It doesn't suck.
It's terrific.
Not the most amazing thing I've read, mind you. But I've read a lot. Anyway.
I would say a favourite stanza, but when I look back I'm in love with all of them.
Great!
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"and my tongue that
slides out of my stomach like the loch ness
and i am drinking up your breath like rain
and it is satisfying in the way that i want to
slide my fingers under your skin and
play with what i find."
I loved those lines, specifically.
I loved the whole layout of this piece, actually. How it's so choppy,
but it gives off this feeling of, "I'm going crazy and I've accepted it."
And the "tell the girl next door to pray to god for me,"
thing sort of reminded me of a suicide type of note kind of thing.
Like, "tell mommy it's not her fault, and dad I'm still his little girl,"
or something... sort of like, "it's over, and I understand.
At least someone else can still have hope."
I don't know.
I'm overanalyzing.
But I loved the topic of the poem and the feel of the poem all together.
Great job. <3 Good luck in the contest. -
it's as if you're speaking to me. well, myself to my laptop, as i read aloud.
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oh baby.
I love this, I love you.
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i love what you said about your eyelids.
but it's too sad and
wow you wrote again.
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