Your living breath fills my lungs with wonder
Their spirit in the crisp air joins us
The (im)pure creatures watched our lives
I no longer feel your breeze
My clouds blot out your sky
I cast a shadow
Monotony
My eyelids
Flicker.
Life
Author notes
Crisp
Breeze
Spirit
Living
Wonder
Creatures
Shadow
Sky
Clouds
Pure
10 words used from the "Nature" word bank
Thank you for reading, please feel free to think about -and comment on- this poem. (if you are not sure what to say in your comment please answer the following question):
-What do you think I mean by "life" on the last line?
A contest entry
- It's Etheree Time (contest) by Paloszoo.
900 points, ended January 17, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SHORT WRITES BUT POWERFUL IMAGES by DeadlyPoetic88.
1332 points, ended January 21, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I definitely like the images you've penned. Very deep. Those second and third lines really throw your aesthetics off. Second needs to be longer, third needs to be shorter. Other lines are slightly off, but nothing major. The whole bundle is, however, pretty enjoyable. Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you show your work here!
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incredible write!!!
I loved the imagery and the form here...great feeling to this write
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An interesting write and nicely crafted reverse etheree. Good imagery, flow and tone. Nice depth of feeling. Best wishes in the contest.
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