The oily night spreads like ink
and I have begun another year, without you.
I find myself thinking of you constantly,
trying to revise my decisions and revive you
from the void.
I memorized a face once a long lifetime ago,
a heart that beats with the unfailing resolution
of a Swiss timepiece,
an infant bearing your mother’s
tenacity and stone cold stubborn nature
slipping into negative space,
while I laid on the icy tile of a bathroom
that you would never see.
My creative process stuck
in a vicious cycle of repetitive birth,
poem after poem
in lieu of a precious new life.
And time continues to spin
her ceaseless web
tighter and tighter around me
while the memories are fading
like brittle sepia toned photographs.
I whisper your name,
trying to infuse it with magical qualities,
instilling a vitality in it to bring you home
to fill this barren womb with beauty and forgiveness.
Every word I write in your blood, and every song I sing
to immortalize the stolen years,
each step I walk, without you by my side,
scores my soul and I weep to cleanse myself
of my sinful failings.
My sweet baby, my arms have ached to hold you
as you sleep,
my lips, never having kissed my child goodnight,
tremble at the thought.
And as I struggle with a decision to begin again,
I write to you all the things I could never say.
You will always be first, my tiny treasure,
and the best part of my heart
will always belong
to you.
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything Goes by Shancy Fayre.
700 points, ended January 5, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
beautiful write
very powerful and heart breaking
well done on the delivery of this piece
-
You hold my tears in your hands with this blessed poem. My heart goes out to any who endure such pain. Thank you for entering. Shancy.
-
I'm sitting here speechless. This is beautiful and sad and those closing lines are perfection. I had a stillborn son over a decade ago, and although I am blessed with three children there is still an ache. I'm sorry for your pain.
♥
whisper
p.s. you have forgiveness, I hope you know that.
-
X.X.X.
-
This is utterly heartbreaking. There is no loss like that of a child, regardless of time or circumstance. My heart goes out to you and was completely captured and touched by your statements here. Thanks for sharing such a sensitive event through beautiful and heartfelt poetry.
-
oh my god..
this crushingly sad and beautiful at the same time..very very powerful write my friend..
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
