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A silent prayer

Missing image
I left you there on that fateful dark track,
A body cold and dead, lifeless on its back.
The dusty Earth quenches its endless thirst,
You will not be the last and neither are the first.
Sleep well sweet child, seems you were cursed...

Author notes

Picture found on Google, sorry don't know the author or I would credit.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this one is awesome, especially for being so short. Congrats on the gold.


    whisper

  • angeldreams
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    well...
    you know nwhen I read this I knew it would go for gold( I read before the contest was judged)!
    amazingly written.
    powerful imagery i so few lines!
    dark and wonderful...


  • Angelflower
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    it was a bit scary but I still liked it .. You always know how to tell a story brother mine. well worthy of Gold!

    Angel


    • Unsigned gold member
      January 2
      Edit | Reply
      it was a bit scary wasn't it...I wrote it as an mirrored view to the piece that wo silver in the same comp...to me it is better than mine...check it out it is by Masterblaster...


      It is really good sis...


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant.
    I like that you write the frequent "not the first nor the last" backwards. Because the change is unique.


  • Desire gold member
    January 2
    Edit | Reply

    Oh My~

    Powerful this is my Brother and Love the tight rhyme~
    Excellent take on the picture prompt
    with message that grabs the reader
    Bravo!
    Last line brings it home...
    Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
    -Throws confetti-
    Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo


    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~

    • Unsigned gold member
      January 2
      Edit | Reply
      Oh Sis.....I feel so bad for writting this now you have seen it...

      It is just an oposite point of view on a poem written by masterblaster I never meant to apear evil. I am so sorry...

      Simon

      • Desire gold member
        January 2
        Edit | Reply
        Aaaaaaaaaaaaw You know what- what I felt was a neutral energy-
        as if You stepped outside the box- not from within if that makes sense-
        I was seeing like a storyteller speaking to another person-
        retelling what had happened- (like what is done around the campfire)
        so I did not sense any evil


  • Venugopal gold member
    January 2
    Edit | Reply
    what a deep and sad poem, so true, all life returns to earth


  • Black Narcissus gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    Loved the rhyme Well deserved trophy.

    Happy New year to You.


  • StarEyes
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    My Goodness Bubs,

    Dark and yet one can feel the saddness and love for this person in your words! But that is no surprise to me, as I know you quite well, and I know your heart, how it works!

    Congrats on the Gold!

    and love

    Nyetta


    • Unsigned gold member
      January 2
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks sis!

      Not where I wanted to be but it was a good prompt...


  • masterblaster gold member
    January 2
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, congratulations on the gold, nice one, Di


    • Unsigned gold member
      January 2
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Di..I think that your write inspired the story lihe here...

  • i think out of all the poems that rhymed, this one is the best. good luck.


  • Hikari Lady
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    Speak of darkness!! This is beyond dark and sent shiver down my spine. Also, you just let me realize that I have a typo in my lastest poem. lol

    Good luck!!
    ~Noor

  • ElectricBloom
    January 2
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is dark.
    I love the rhyme, i'm not normally a fan of rhyme but it works well here. Doesn't appear at all forced and really helps with the flow.
    Beautiful yet morbid imagery throughout, you really capture the reader.

    best of luck in the contest!

    ElectricBloom

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